Page 11 of Absolution

Jackson sits forward in his seat, brows pulled tight. "Have you had the chance to spend some time with your family?"

"Uh, no. I'm still trying to find my bearings." My parents came when I first arrived. Man, what a total disaster. My mom couldn't stop crying, and my dad was stoic. I didn't have the heart to tell them I only agreed to meet them because everyone else thought this was the best idea.

Quinn perches on the chair across from me. "I can't imagine what you're going through, I wish I had some incredible advice for you, but all I can offer is friendship."

"Yeah, man. We're here for you, you're family now." Mark's face draws, I can tell he means every word.

"I know, thank you. But right now, I'm lost." I fiddle with my fingers, which helps to keep from facing them.

Jackson presses on. "Have you given any thought about going home when you're released to see if you can acclimate?"

"We're not trying to push you, just concerned for you. Your dad moved heaven and hell to find you and bring you home." Quinn spouts, pricking my ire with his tone and the overall conversation.

I stand, pacing the room. "Yes, you've all explained how you rescued me, and I can't thank you enough, but nothing changes the fact I don't know who the fuck I am."

"When your father contacted me, I rejected the mission at first. There were hardly any details, and you were only missing a few weeks at that point. He pulled his senator card, and I still refused. He then spoke to me as a father. By the time he was finished, I was all in." Jackson leans forward on his knees.

“I'm positive your parents don't care if you need time to figure things out because all they wanted was you back on US soil and safe. Be honest with them, take the time you need, but don't cut them out of your life. There might be a day you'll regret not trying.”

My pacing slows with every word, something deep inside me pulls and tugs, knotting my stomach. "Maybe the therapist Doctor Burgess wants me to talk to isn't such a bad idea."

"I don't understand how it could hurt, and please, don't think we're pushing you out. We're here, brother." Mark's voice reverberates in my chest, his words settling in and taking root.

I lean against the wall, and my breathing slows. "I can't go home to who I was, and I'm not sure they understand, I may never be the son I was before. I'm not even sure I'm me anymore."

"I can't think of a better place to find out, and we'll be a call away," Quinn adds.

"Right now, I can't go back to who I was, but I can move forward and see what happens."

Jackson stands, moving closer to me. "You have plenty of time, take what you need and consider moving forward in some way."

My newfound brothers spend the afternoon with me until Jackson needs to make his flight time back to the West Coast. I can't explain how much this means to me I'm not alone.

As they ready to leave, each makes sure I have their cell numbers. My parents brought me a new phone once I recovered enough to learn how to use one again.

I'm told my recovery has been astonishing, most never recover. I realize I'm one of the lucky ones. Funny thing is, I don't feel lucky. I'm not sure how to describe what I think, except for sadness, and I have no idea why.

"Now, if I can only figure out the rest of my life."

Chapter Four

Creed

Two years later…

"Creed?" The soft words echo around me, and longing fills my chest. I gasp with the pain of missing something or someone. She sounds broken, much like me. "Creed... come home. Find your way back to me."

I shoot straight up in bed, sweat dripping from my body. The dream is always so vivid, like I'm looking down at the scene, watching as it happens in real-time. I shake my head, trying to find my bearings.

"Doc?" My voice reverberates through the room, bouncing off the empty walls. No, not the ones I've built within me, but the man-made one around me.

"Hey, where are you?" I swing my legs from the bed, standing slowly so I can adjust to the movement. I stretch, chuckling as my body cracks and pops like an old house.

I stumble through the apartment to find Doc lying on the couch. The sun beams through the window, making her red hair glisten. She's my best friend, I'd be lost without her.

"There you are," I drop into the seat next to her, running my hand up her back. "did I disturb you?"

Her eyes widen as she crawls over my leg, snuggling on my lap. I rub her back again as she falls into my chest, warming me after my dream. It's always one of two, and Doc doesn't like either of them.