Page 91 of Unruly

“I was hoping for thoughtful and a little bit hot, but I’ll take thoughtful.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Yes. Yes I am.” I look at her.

I’ve never done this before.

Not once in twenty-two years have I asked a woman to be my girlfriend. I’ve fucked, I’ve flirted, I’ve had fun, but I’ve never looked at someone and thought, I want this to be real. I want her to be mine in every way that matters.

Until Halle.

So, yeah, I’m nervous as hell.

“I want to do this right,” I say, looking at her. My heart’s beating like I just ran sprints. “I’ve never … I’ve never asked anyone to be my girlfriend before—never wanted to. But I want that with you. I want to be with you. For real. Not just sneaking around or whatever the fuck we’ve been doing. I want you to be mine, and I want everyone to know it.”

Halle goes still, and the easy smile she had a second ago fades. She sets her glass down carefully, like she’s buying time.

“Cash …” She swallows. “I can’t.”

The word hits harder than I expected, and I nod once, trying to keep my face neutral. “Okay. Why?”

She looks out over the valley instead of at me. When she speaks, her voice is quiet but steady. “I just … I think we should keep it casual.”

I stare at her.

She still won’t look at me.

“Casual,” I repeat, voice low.

“Yeah.” She picks at a loose thread on the blanket. “What we’ve been doing has been good. Easy. I don’t think we need to complicate it.”

I let out a short, humorless laugh and shake my head.

“There’s nothing casual about us, Darlin’.”

That gets her attention. Her eyes flick up to mine.

I lean forward, resting my forearms on my knees, holding her gaze.

“You think what’s between us is casual?” I ask. “You think me showing up at your bar every night, watching you close, sitting in my truck in the parking lot just to make sure you get to your bike safe … you think that’s casual? You think me killing a man for you and then fucking you on the floor while his body was still bleeding out ten feet away was casual?”

Her breath catches.

I don’t let up.

“You kissed me first, but you’ve been in my head every single day since. There is nothing casual about the way I want you, and I’m done pretending there is.”

Halle’s quiet for a long moment. She looks down at her hands, then back out at the valley like she’s trying to find the right words.

When she finally speaks again, her voice is smaller.

“It’s not just about keeping things easy,” she admits. Her voice is quieter now. “I … I can’t give you what you want, Cash.”

I frown. “What do you think I want?”

She lets out a short, humorless laugh and looks away again. “You want what all men want.”

“All I want is you,” I say without hesitation.