Page 21 of Unbound

I wait for her to elaborate. She gnaws her lower lip, flipping it in and out of her mouth as she looks at my face, then blushes and glances away.

“I’ve always wished I could read minds, but I’ve never wanted to more than I do right now.”

She laughs. “Ugh, I don’t know how to say it. Talking about this stuff is hard for me because of how I was raised.”

I stare at her, truly confused now. “You can tell me anything. I would never judge you.”

She exhales, closing her eyes. “It’s what Dr. Shiner was saying.”

“About sleeping?”

When she just stares at me, cheeks still pink, it finally hits me.

She’s not sleeping because she’s sexually frustrated. She was raised extremely religious and can’t talk about these things easily.

Shit.

“Are you feeling … physically frustrated?”

She nods vigorously, leaning into my arm.

“Your body isn’t allowing you to sleep because of the physical frustrations you’re feeling.”

“I think so, yes. I know it’s wrong. I just …”

“Eden, look at me. Sex isn’t wrong. You’re not wrong for having these feelings. These are normal human feelings. They’re biological. I have them too.”

She blinks up at me. “You do?”

“All the time. Every day. I mean, I’m not going through the hormonal changes you are, so I’m sure it’s not the same. But, yes, I feel sexually frustrated sometimes.”

She shifts closer to me on the couch so that our knees are touching. I’ve tried my best to avoid looking at her like a woman who is a potential sexual partner for me up until now because of the vulnerable position she’s in.

Every day, that becomes more difficult, the more time I spend with her. She’s beautiful, kind, funny, and easy to be around. In the short time I’ve known her, I’ve come to crave her presence, even when I’m at work. It’s distracting.

“What makes it better?”

“Well, an orgasm would, but I don’t really like jerking off. I just deal with it. Sometimes, I go to the bar and find someone to hook up with.”

I don’t mention that it’s been increasingly more difficult since she moved in.

“What does an orgasm feel like?”

I freeze. Eden doesn’t know what an orgasm feels like.

I rub my hand over the back of my neck. “Uh, it feels really good. Like an instant release. Your whole body kind of vibrates with pleasure. Like sneezing, times a thousand.”

She licks her lips, eyes gravitating lower until they’re focused on my hands. One is still holding hers; the other is in a tight fist on my leg.

“I just … when I was with Michael, I didn’t really like it. Maybe it’s not the same for everyone.”

I swallow, shaking my head. “It’s easy for men. Women take a little more time and skill to get to that point. Have you ever touched yourself?”

Her eyes widen. She shakes her head. “No.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.

How do I explain this without getting an erection?

“Do you know how to do it?”