Page 79 of Pretty Thing

My eyes dart up to his.

“Towel? Unless, of course, you want me to air-dry.”

I quickly grab the closest towel and hand it to him. He snatches my wrist before I can move away.

“Don’t be ashamed of wanting to look at me,” he whispers, putting my palm on his chest. “I love it when you stare.”

In that moment, I realize that I want him to be my first. The thought takes me by surprise, but it feels…right.

When I’m near him, the grief doesn’t disappear.

It just loosens its hold long enough for me to remember that I’m still capable of wanting things like love and desire. He reminds me that it’s okay to still be amongst the living.

That I can grieve and still be me.

twenty-one

​. . .​

Eden

This is not how I envisioned spending Boxing Day. It started with a ranting text from Kris saying that someone slashed her tire and that she thinks it was Felix.

How do you jump to that conclusion?

I don’t know, but I stopped responding when she refused to let it go.

Now, I’m at my checkup already on edge, not wanting to be back at the hospital. It’s depressing, but it’s also setting off a panic attack that I’m working really damn hard to keep in check. The last thing I need to add to this visit is a mortifying freak out in the waiting area.

God, what if they admit me?

Felix links our fingers together.

“It’s alright. I’m right here with you,” he says, so no one else can hear.

“Am I that obvious?”

He gives me that quirky little smile that I love. It’s affectionate and teasing at the same time, and makes me feel warm all over.

“No, I just know you. Plus your bouncing knee is making it feel like I put a quarter in this seat to have a better experience.”

I snort, then look around to make sure no one heard that. Some of the tension eases in my chest, and I’m able to take a deep breath.

“Eden Hale?”

A nurse calls my name, and Felix jumps up to help me stand. We follow her to the office and take a seat.

“Doctor Walker will be in shortly,” the nurse says, and closes the door.

The tension is back, but Felix leans over and places a soft kiss on my neck. Then my pulse spikes for a totally different reason.

“I’m here, remember?”

He knows exactly how to make my brain fry but in the best way possible. A blush creeps across my cheeks when Dr. Walker arrives a moment later.

Am I wrong for having dirty thoughts about Felix in his office?

“Ms. Hale, it’s good to see you.” He glances at the Aircast I’m wearing. “Why do you still have that on?”