Page 67 of Pretty Thing

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Eden

The darkness feels heavier than it has the last few days when I open my eyes. There is a pressure on my chest that has nothing to do with anything physical and everything to do with the loss of all I know.

It’s hard to believe that it’s only been a little over three weeks since the crash. I finally had a plan for my life. I knew where I wanted to go to school, had two loving parents, and now…I don’t know.

Today is Christmas. My birthday. And my parents are dead.

The grief is as real as a hand reaching inside my chest and squeezing until I can’t pull in a full breath. I stare at the ceiling while snow falls softly against the bedroom window. The digital clock beside my bed glows red.

6:03 a.m.

Do I get up?

Is there a point?

I pull the blanket tighter around myself and try not to cry, but my throat burns anyway.

Last year Mum woke me up singing Happy Birthday off-key, while Dad made cinnamon rolls downstairs with extra frosting. My favorite. Today there is no coffee brewing, no Christmas music playing low through the house, and no wrapped gifts beneath the tree. The joy of the past cannot be replicated now. Some losses aren’t measured in years. They’re measured in absent traditions.

I strain my ears, but there’s only silence. It settles into the walls and stays there, lingering without being seen as surely as any ghost. I roll over slowly, ribs protesting, and grab my phone from the nightstand.

Merry Christmas and happy birthday texts are waiting for me, and I’m not sure if opening them will make me feel better or worse.

My aunt wishes me a happy birthday.

Beth and Sean text Merry Christmas.

How can today be merry? I haven’t even seen or heard from either of them since the funeral. I shake my head.

Kyle sends me a funny gif and a bunch of hearts just like he does every year.

Then Kris’s name lights up across the screen.

Kris: I love you and I’m sorry and I love you again.

I can’t help but smile. This is Kris. Dramatic to the point of frustration, but under that is a soft and kind person. It’s why, her hate on for Felix feels…odd.

Kris: I want to wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, but it also seems so wrong.

Eden: I know what you mean. Thanks, bestie. I love you too.

Kris: So, listen, I know you’re going to try and say no, but I’m not accepting that. Kyle is picking you up at 4:30, so be ready. You are spending today with us, my parents insist.

Eden: Kris…

Kris: No, this isn’t an argument you can win. Mom is making way too much food, and if you try staying home alone today, I’ll tell Kyle to tie you up and drag you out of the house.

Despite myself, I laugh. That is totally something Kris would do.

Eden: I’m thinking I’ll just stay home and sleep, honestly.

The typing bubbles appear instantly.

Kris: Absolutely not. Today of all days, you cannot spend alone.

Kris: Eden, I mean it. You need to be with people today.