Page 40 of Love Lessons

Dustin felt so delicious and sexy behind her, but when was he going to get started? Was waiting part of the game? He had pulled her onto his lap, but he wasn’t doing anything. He was just sitting there, with one arm wrapped casually around her middle and his other hand resting on the edge of her thigh. She didn’t even think he was hard.

She shifted experimentally, rubbing against his bulge, but his arms just tightened around her, keeping her in place.

Two of the agents ran after someone and then piled into a car to drive recklessly after him.

Finally, Lena couldn’t take it anymore. What are we doing?

Dustin seemed amused again. We’re watching a movie and snuggling.

Why? Don’t you want to do anything? And I thought you were going to punish me.

I never said I was going to punish you. I said I was going to give you a lesson. This is your lesson.

I don’t understand. This is why she stuck to one-night stands. What the hell even was this?

The lesson is cuddling and relaxing. You said it was a soft limit, and right now we’re pushing it. You can safeword if you need to.

It sounds stupid when you say it like that.

He shrugged. It’s your limit. You have to let me know if it’s too much.

It’s not too much. But it felt like maybe it was. So I just sit here?

You sit there and try to relax. You can try some other positions, too. The only requirement is that you stay close to me.

Feeling a bit rebellious but not sure why, Lena shifted over until she was next to Dustin instead of sitting on top of him. Even though she sort of missed it. But they were technically still touching.

He just wrapped an arm around her shoulders and drew her head down against his chest. After a beat, he stretched out one of his legs and then pulled her knee over his. Then he pressed a kiss to her forehead and went back to watching the movie.

Lena’s mind was still racing faster than the exploding cars on the screen. Cuddling was what people did in relationships. It wasn’t like she’d never cuddled before.

Obviously, she cuddled with her nieces and nephews when she read them stories. They climbed all over her like a jungle gym. And in college she’d piled up with other teenagers on someone’s bed or couch while they watched movies, feeling illicit and cool for being part of a group that could be so casually affectionate like that, even when she felt a little uncomfortable with her own body.

She’d even awkwardly snuggled with a few dates, back when she was still pathetically trying to do the relationship thing. But it always felt like a prelude to making out, or a cheap substitute for the sex that they couldn’t have if they were meeting up somewhere public like a bar.

Was this about getting to know each other? Was that what this was about? Except that friends didn’t cuddle like this, or at least not in adulthood.

Which led her to the real question of why the fuck this was bothering her so much. She didn’t feel like it should be a soft limit. She hadn’t even thought about it with that language until Dustin had asked.

It just wasn’t something she usually did because there wasn’t any point.

She was confident and independent and happy with her life. Though, the inner voice that sounded vaguely like her old therapist pointed out, it was interesting that she had to remind herself of that.

And now she was feeling nervous and over-analyzing everything.

Maybe that was what Dustin got out of it, though. It seemed like he’d figured her out so quickly. Perhaps he’d actually been looking for somewhere that he could push her, somewhere that he could leave his mark. And since he wasn’t comfortable using the crop, for whatever reason, maybe this was like a substitute for that.

Dustin started gently, almost mindlessly, stroking her arm. It felt nice, but not really sexual. Relax, he signed without taking his eyes off the screen.

She tried to make herself relax. But her neck was a little bit sore from the angle, pushed forward by Dustin’s arm. And it didn’t feel good to be half slumped over like that. She thought that maybe, if they were going to do this anyway, that she might like to lay down more on the couch. Maybe, she thought hopefully, he would play with her hair. But with Dustin sitting in the middle of it there wasn’t space.

She shifted her legs onto the cushion beside her and maybe nudged him a little bit. Dustin didn’t say a word as he moved back to lay along the length of the couch with his head on one of the throw pillows. When he was settled, he pulled Lena down on top of him.

Her head rested on his chest, and although her body was nestled between his thighs, he seemed to be ignoring how she pressed against him. It was intimate, but not sexual.

He ran gentle fingers through her hair, and her eyes drifted closed. She inhaled his clean and faintly spicy scent and felt his soft shirt against her cheek.

Dustin was warm and solid and clearly not going anywhere. Neither was she.