Page 33 of Love Lessons

Dustin’s eyes popped open. Is cuddling a hard limit for you? He looked serious, not sleepy anymore.

Landon jerked in surprise. A hard limit? He hadn’t thought of it that way. It wasn’t like cuddling was a limit. It just wasn’t something that he did. Or maybe it wasn’t something that he let himself do?

Mostly it just made him feel nervous, like he needed to start anticipating being forgotten before he could even enjoy it. Fuck, maybe it was a limit.

A soft limit? he tentatively replied.

Dustin looked at him for the longest time, seeming to read secrets that Landon didn’t even know himself. Finally, he seemed to come to some conclusion. I won’t pressure you. But I would be honored if you would let me press that limit with you. If it’s too much, you can safeword, just like with anything else.

What would we do? He really wasn’t sure why he was so nervous.

We would put our bodies close to each other. I might rub your back or stroke your hair. And then we would sleep.

It sounded silly to have that as a soft limit, but Dustin seemed to be taking him seriously. That made it a little bit alright.

We can try it, he said bravely.

I’m proud of you, Dustin nodded. And Landon’s heart swelled even though he knew it shouldn’t. He’d had Doms say that to him before, but it always felt fake, like they were reading from a script.

But Dustin said he was proud of him, and he knew he really was. And that shouldn’t have felt so good, either.

Come here. Dustin opened his arms.

Slowly, Landon moved toward him, feeling awkward and not at all sexy. This was stupid. He moved the rest of the way in a rush, and then they got all tangled up in elbows and knees.

Dustin sorted him out and he let himself be moved, enjoying the feeling of Dustin taking control. Dustin lay on his back, Landon’s head on his shoulder but also propped on a pillow. Dustin’s hand moved gently along his back.

Good boy, Dustin signed.

And that felt good, too. Everything was so confusing right now.

Dustin started stroking Landon’s fingers, playing with the hand that lay over his chest. Then Dustin pressed a little kiss to his forehead.

It was sweet and deceptively calming.

Landon slowly felt his body relax, but his mind was still spinning. Eventually, Dustin’s motions stilled, and his breath grew heavy and even.

Landon wished he was sleeping, but inside he was tangled up in knots. Dustin couldn’t possibly want him, not really want him. Not in the long run. And it wasn’t like Landon wanted a boyfriend anyway.

But he let himself have one more nuzzle against Dustin’s shoulder. It wasn’t like he was ever going to get to do it again.

Chapter 6

Dustin

Dustin popped the last bite of summer roll into his mouth, then put his takeout container down and wiped his hands. Zhong pulled his feet back while he moved and then got their legs tangled up together again.

So, explain to me again why you’re not going to the munch tomorrow? Zhong was still chewing while he signed.

He cancelled twice on me when we were supposed to have more lessons. I thought we were really connecting over text, but apparently not. Dustin had really been enjoying their conversations, too. It had taken them a while to hit their stride, but when he started sharing comic book memes and trivia, it could launch whole conversations. He’d gotten to know a bit about the kids in Landon’s classes, without their names of course, and all of the amazing work that Landon did to support them.

But then the weeks had passed, and there hadn’t been another lesson. When he’d suggested coffee or dinner, Landon always took forever to get back to him, and then said that he was too busy. Or he took forever, set a date, and then cancelled it. But somehow, when he was sending him comic book memes, he got texts back right away.

If he were interested in me, he would have found a time to meet. And it’s fine that he’s not interested. I just don’t want to see him.

And it had been a long week at work, too. He’d invited Zhong over for a movie and snuggle time, not the interrogation-slash-pep talk that was apparently coming.

Zhong started running a soothing hand up and down Dustin’s calf. When Dustin had first met him, he’d thought they’d had chemistry together. And it had sure felt like a crush with the way that Zhong wanted to touch him all the time. Now he knew that it was just Zhong’s style of friendship, and, perhaps more importantly, his way of getting his own needs met.