Page 20 of Love Lessons

That was his deepest fear.

He still wasn’t quite sure that all of this was real. That Landon could actually want something like that. Or that Dustin would be able to do it to him once he found out what he wanted.

He worried even more that it was all real, and that after he got a little taste of it, he’d never be able to go back to vanilla relationships again. Which he would have to if he was a crappy Dom.

He wondered if Landon would laugh at him if he saw him like this, shaking in his shoes in fear of hitting someone. It sounded bizarre when he said it that way. He could understand someone being afraid of being hit. But being afraid of hitting someone else?

His phone chimed with a text.

Landon: I forgot to tell you my apartment number LOL. It’s 4C.

Well, it looked like this was it. He reminded himself that he wanted to explore this, and that he had to start somewhere. He could only hope that he didn’t fuck it up.

Dustin: Thanks. Parking now.

Dustin mentally composed himself as he entered the building. This didn’t just have to be about sex. Or a “scene” or whatever it was called. And it wasn’t quite like it was a first date. They’d already spent a lot of time talking at the two munches.

This was a lesson. Maybe even just talking. So that he could figure out what he liked and how to do it and then do better the next time.

Of course, Landon was so vibrant and outgoing and sexy that he’d never settle for someone like Dustin. Dustin was lucky to get a little bit of time with him now.

He fidgeted with his pockets outside Landon’s door. It felt like he was in some movie, about to open a door to the unknown. Heaven. Hell. The Lady or the Tiger. The Twilight Zone. Once he entered, he’d be cast into some other dimension where all of the rules were different, and he’d become another person.

He drew in a deep breath and gave three sharp knocks even though there was a good chance Landon couldn’t hear them.

While he waited, he kept planning. He would follow Landon’s lead. Maybe sit and have something to drink. Or look around his apartment and discuss Landon’s books or DVDs or art. Surely, they would have something in common.

He didn’t want things to be awkward, so he went through conversations in his head. He could ask about organizing the munches. He could ask about Landon’s students, or the new unit he’d been planning the last time they met. Maybe the thing with Landon’s job, since that had sounded like something he might want to discuss with a friend.

All of that fell apart the moment Landon opened the door.

He was wearing a tiny pair of shimmery blue briefs and a smile. He looked confident and relaxed as he pulled back the door and wordlessly invited Dustin in.

And all of that skin… He was golden and perfect. Smooth, long lines and subtle, firm muscles. Dusky pink nipples and a trail of dark hair down his soft abdomen that invited Dustin’s touch.

After a moment, Dustin finally managed to wave hello.

With a smirk, Landon returned the greeting. He clearly knew what effect he was having and reveled in it. He was gorgeous, and as Dustin had always known, completely out of his league.

It struck Dustin again how inexperienced he was. How Landon must do this all the time. Maybe every weekend. Or more often.

Landon moved languorously toward the couch, his pert ass popping in those tiny briefs. His blond hair waved gently as he moved, and Dustin realized for the first time that it must be dyed. It fit his attention-seeking personality as well as drawing attention to his sharp facial features.

Haltingly, Dustin closed the apartment door and walked over to the couch. Landon was stretched out seductively over more than half of it, and Dustin wasn’t sure that he could share it. He chose the armchair instead, knowing that he looked foolish but not quite ready to make that move.

Like what you see? Landon asked. Dustin remembered that he’d asked that the first time they met. He wondered if he asked people that a lot. Clearly, he must. The question drew attention to his gorgeous body and didn’t seem to require an answer. So Dustin didn’t answer, still trying to compose himself. Probably for too long.

And then he saw it. Just the tiniest slip of that practiced, easy smile. The smallest tightening around his eyes.

Landon was nervous, too.

Dustin wasn’t sure what made him do it, but he wanted to see more of that vulnerability. He forced himself to wait even longer, face blank.

Landon’s fingers twitched. Then he rearranged himself on the couch. To anybody else, he might still look relaxed and open, with one ankle crossed over the opposite knee and his hands loose in his lap. But he had drawn in on himself, protecting his vulnerable parts.

Dustin didn’t quite understand it, but he felt a little more confident now. It was partially that he was on a more even playing field with his new teacher.

But he also seemed to get something deeper out of seeing Landon unsettled. Incongruously, it made him feel protective. It was like two forces battling inside him, but he couldn’t figure out how they fit together.