Page 6 of Roses are Royal

“No, Dante actually reached out to me directly. He didn’t mention any referral, but once we discussed what he was looking for, I knew there was no way I could turn it down. Plus, it would bring me back to New York longer term, which was a bonus. I never asked him, but I figured he found me from the magazine article.”

“How did you end up referring me to Dante? I don’t remember working with your company on any of my previous projects with Franklin & Sons. Dante mentioned the owner of the construction company he used personally referred me by name. I thought it was a bit odd and maybe they had confused me with another designer. Still, I wasn’t in the position to turn down the job, so I took it as a sign to say yes.”

“It’s possible one of my contractors worked with you in the past and provided your information. I didn’t even know you were still in the city, let alone in luxury design.”

I know Dante said the owner of the company referred me, and he doesn’t seem like the type to mix up people and confuse information based on the short amount of time I’ve interacted with him. But I don’t sense any hesitation or dishonesty in Luc’s response, so I guess it’s possible Dante misspoke?

Regardless, I try not to let the hurt on my face show that Luc didn’t even bother to check in on me from time to time to see what I was doing through the years. I spent countless hours, days, and weeks talking to anyone who knew him, scouring online sites for any mention of him, only to come up with nothing. It’s like he disappeared off the face of the earth…or even more, like he never existed. Which is weird, considering he was apparently in a magazine article. I will definitely be looking that up later. In some of the darker days that followed his leaving, I could almost convince myself that he wasn’t real and the time we spent together was a figment of my imagination. That was the only way to pull myself out of the mental spiral. I made the decision to live my life by only looking forward and doing my best to forget the past. Because when it came down to it, I had been forgotten by everyone else in my life from the moment I was born, so it was time to build a new one.

Maybe I wouldn’t have even gone to college and worked so hard to get a top-tier internship if Luc hadn’t left me. But I’m not about to give him any credit for the blood, sweat, and tears I’ve poured into my career. He doesn’t deserve that kind of credit.

“Well, if you could find out who on your team referred me, I’d love to say thank you to them directly. Dante is my first client since I left Franklin & Sons, and if all goes well, this could be a big pivot for my career. That is, as long as Dante and I can figure out how to get along. He’s been really short with me and kind of makes me uneasy. I can’t get a good read on him, but I want to make sure I keep this project. How was he to work with while you guys were collaborating on the design for the build?”

“He’s actually been one of the easier clients to work with, honestly. He’s very particular about details and knows what he wants, which can be a pain at times, but it takes the back-and-forth out of it completely. Dante even did some of the work on the house himself, and we only had to provide the materials. I’m guessing he has specific taste and prefers to handle certain details himself. We didn’t even do any of the final construction in the basement. We only poured the foundation to his specifications and did some framing, but he handled the rest. I haven’t even seen what he ended up doing with the space. That’s part of the reason I was excited about the walkthrough today. I had hoped to get a look at the work he did down there. You’ll have to let me know once you get a look at it,” he adds with a wink.

Now this is the playful, flirtatious Luc I remember. Time to expertly transition into some more difficult questions.

“Why didn’t you say goodbye after graduation? Or actually, why did you leave in the first place?” I blurt out. Not necessarily the smooth transition I was hoping for, but it’s out there now, and I really need to know the answer. After everything, that is what I can’t get past. I can understand—at least on some level—wanting to leave and pursue his dreams, but for him to vanish without a word is really what hurt me more than anything.

Luc is silent for several moments. I can tell he is trying to organize his thoughts and words before he says anything, which I know from experience means I’m going to get a half-truth. He forgets I’m like a human lie detector when it comes to him—or at least I used to be. Who even knows what lies he’s told me? Is the iced coffee secret just the tip of the iceberg? I sit perfectly still, not breaking eye contact with him. I’m not about to let him out of this without some explanation or, at minimum, an attempt at an apology.

Luc finally clears his throat and sighs. “Do you really want to get into all that tonight?” He wears a look of exhaustion on his face, not willing to make eye contact with me.

“If we don’t talk about it now, I don’t know if we ever will,” I say with conviction. “It’s really important to me, Luc. Plus, we are going to be working together on Dante’s home for the next couple of weeks, and I don’t want things to be awkward. While I wish we could just sweep the past aside and pick up where we left off, I can’t do that. I just need to know.” I sound more desperate than I intended, but I want Luc to know what he did really hurt me, even if it clearly felt like nothing to him.

“Ro, honestly, I didn’t really think it was a big deal. I went to visit my family’s friend that I apprenticed for right after graduation. It was a surprise trip from my mom, and I didn’t know about it until we were already on the way to the train station when we left the auditorium. I had planned to call you and tell you all about it, but he didn’t have great cell service at his house in the mountains. Then when everything started happening with the architectural classes and stuff, it just slipped my mind. I figured you had moved on and were living some fabulous life in the city without me since I never heard from you either.”

A forklift couldn’t have picked my jaw off the floor. I just sat there, mouth agape in disbelief. It slipped his mind? He never heard from me? WTF? Breathe, Ro! Fighting with my emotions not to cry or to have an outburst I would definitely regret, I look down at my hands grasping my iced coffee in a death grip and quietly respond, “You’re right, I don’t think we need to get into this tonight or ever. Water under the bridge, right? And I did end up living a fabulous life in the city, so I guess everything worked out for both of us.” God, where is Shirley when I need her? I can’t even make eye contact with him because I know the moment I do, I’ll lose it. I want to get this evening over with and go to my hotel room and regroup. And by regroup, I mean sob into a pillow in the privacy of my room.

Looking around the diner, I spot my savior Shirley walking toward us with my food. As soon as she is within earshot, I gesture toward her and quickly squeak out, “Actually, could I get my burger to go? I’m sure you guys are closing soon, and we wouldn’t want to keep you. I’m happy to box it up myself, if you have a box or container. Or I can even grab the to-go box myself if you just point me in the right direction.”

I’m rambling at this point, but I don’t think I can hold in my tears much longer. My focus is getting out of here with my dignity partially intact.

“Ro, are you sure? I thought you were starving? I’m sure they don’t mind staying open a bit longer so you can eat your food while it's hot.”

I see Luc give Shirley a sheepish half smile out of the corner of my eye. He’s clearly confused by my swift change in demeanor.

“I’m actually exhausted all of a sudden and want to just call it a night.” I look at Shirley with pleading eyes, hoping she’s receiving my female telepathy that I need an escape, like now. By the grace of the diner gods, Shirley’s expression softens toward me for the first time tonight.

“Not a problem, sweetheart. I’ll grab a box and the check for you. Be right back.” Shirley leaves my plate of food on the table as she retreats to the kitchen for my to-go box.

I’m pretending to search in my purse for my wallet to give me any reason not to look up when Luc says, “Hey, are you okay? I don’t mind hanging out for a bit while you eat. I’m sure they don’t care if we are here a few minutes past closing.”

“No, I really am tired and just want to get checked into my hotel. I had a long drive up from the city this morning and then the walkthrough all day. It’s all just catching up with me. Really, I’m fine, Luca. I’m just tired. I promise.” And just like that, this night will go down as the first time I ever lied to Luc and also the first time I’ve called him Luca since we met.

I don’t miss his slight flinch when I say his full name. He is no longer my Luc, my best friend, my confidant, my rock and shoulder to lean on, my other half. He is now Luca, the business owner and my current colleague. And the sooner I start acting like that, the better for my mental and emotional state. I got over losing him once. I’m not sure if I could do it again and survive.

Thankfully, Shirley returns with a box before Luca can respond. This woman is my new best friend. Plus, her sass is actually growing on me.

“Thanks so much, Shirley.” I throw two twenty-dollar bills on the table as I quickly work to put my burger and tater tots in the white Styrofoam to-go container. “Keep the change. I appreciate you staying open late for us.” I give Shirley the first genuine smile of the night, which she returns.

Before she can scoop up the bills I left, Luca pushes them back toward me. “Ro, I got it.”

“No, that’s okay. I can expense it since this was a business meal. Plus, you only had a coffee, so no worries,” I respond in a clipped tone. My emotions are getting the best of me at this point, and it’s taking every ounce of my willpower not to run out of this diner like it’s on fire.

Shirley, bless her heart, swipes up the twenties I left on the table before Luca can protest further and walks away toward the cash register behind the counter.

“Let me at least walk you to your car,” Luca says in what almost sounds like a pleading or panicked tone as I stand and gather my stuff from the booth.