Page 33 of Roses are Royal

Visibly taken aback by my statement, Luc takes a deep breath and sighs before he responds, “I’m sorry. You’re right.”

His hands unfold, and it looks like he is about to reach for my hands but pulls them back and tucks them under the table at the last minute like he has to physically restrain himself from touching me.

Well, that isn’t what I expected. Maybe a smart retort or some witty banter about how things used to be, but looking at Luc, he looks tired and almost resigned. My heart shouldn’t stutter at the sight, but it does. I miss how things were back when we were friends. There was such an ease between us like we truly were connected in some cosmic way, like two halves finding each other after being separated. Now, I don’t know where this leaves us. I had to fill the hole his absence left, and I don’t know if I can make space for him again.

“Let’s just finish our food, and you can head out for the evening. I’m sure you have to get up early in the morning.” I don’t actually know what he has to do tomorrow, but I don’t know what else to say.

“Sure.” Luc doesn’t meet my eyes as he picks up his cheeseburger and takes a bite.

So I do the same. But the usual delicious, cheesy, greasy burger I was looking forward to tastes like ash on my tongue. After forcing a few more bites of food, I finally push my plate away, signaling I’m done. I can’t take the silence.

“Luc, do you remember the first time we went to that diner off Jefferson Ave. after school for milkshakes?”

“Maybe?” Luc responds with confusion, but I can tell his interest is piqued as a small smile grows on his face.

“And do you remember what you said to me before you walked me home?”

“I’m not sure I remember.”

Ouch. Well, that stings, but luckily, I can remember for us both.

“You said no matter what happens between us, even if we are in a fight or mad at each other or disagree about something, if either of us says the phrase ‘I’ll have decaf’ then the other person has to agree or let it go by saying our secret response to acknowledge it.”

“That was a long time ago, Ro. I won’t hold you to that promise.”

“I’ll have decaf.” There, I said it. Now all I can do is wait to see if my Luc is still in there.

With a huff, Luc looks me directly in my eyes and says, “You mean hot bean water?”

“Perfect, now give me the pickles you have been not so secretly removing from your burger. I don’t know why you didn’t just tell Shirley no pickles. You can be so stubborn sometimes. I know you hate them.”

He smiles and pushes his plate over to my side of the table, turning it slightly so I can see the pile of pickles behind his fries.

And with that, the conversation continues like the whole Dante interaction didn’t happen even though I can still feel the heat of Dante’s eyes on me from where he sits at the counter, waiting for me to finish. Luc tells me about the project that landed him in his first magazine spread, and the excitement on his face tells me he really enjoys the work he does. It’s starting to feel like I might actually be getting my best friend back, and I feel lighter already.

Shirley comes over a while later to check in on us and drops off a to-go container for me, but looking down, I realize I finished all of my food. Shirley looks equally perplexed since I usually just pick at it, take a few bites, and take the rest with me.

“Well, nice to see you actually enjoy a meal for once.” Shirley looks pointedly at me and then at Luc, who has also cleared his plate.

“The food was delicious. Thank you, ma’am.”

“Ah, ah, now what did I say about calling me ma’am?”

“Thank you, Shirley,” Luc adds with a wink.

“Much better.” Shirley beams at Luca. Turning to me, she adds, “Should I just add this to your tab?”

“Yes, please. You’re the best!” I respond before Luc can interject and insist on paying. I can already see the argument on his lips, but Shirley sashays away before he can protest.

“Dinner was supposed to be my treat,” Luc says to me, trying to be stern but failing to hide his smile.

“You can treat me next time.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize it, but I find that I don’t want to take them back. I want there to be a next time. I want to spend more time with Luc and learn about the life he’s lived over the past decade and a half.

Stunned by my statement, all Luc can say is, “Deal.”

Gathering up my stuff, I slide out of the booth to leave and see Dante already standing by the door, waiting for me.

As I’m about to take a step past Luc to leave, he gently grabs my wrist, and I stop in my tracks and look down to meet his gaze. I can tell he wants to say something, but I feel him hold back at the last second.