Page 26 of Rich and Rotten

He chuckled. “You’re very welcome. Shall we?”

I quickly went to fill my favorite water bottle and grabbed my gym bag as Emilio held the door open for me. The second guard at the back door of the car opened it for me.

“Thanks, Anthony.”

“You good, Tatiana. Enjoy your workout,” he said, closing the door as I finally settled into the butter-soft leather.

I would never admit it to Jonah, but it felt nice having security around. With it being just me and Nazira most of the time, the house didn’t feel as big with them there. As the car drove down our long driveway and passed through the neighborhood gates, I closed my eyes, hoping for a quick ten-minute nap.

“Good morning, Tata.”

My eyes sprang open, and I stared at the driver.

Nazir was dressed casually in a white T-shirt and a durag. It felt like my body finally registered something because his signature scent filled the car as soon as our eyes locked through the rearview mirror.

“You’re not my driver. Where’s my driver?” I asked.

“Until everything is cleared with your father, Jonah doesn’t want anyone your father hired to work for you.”

I took a deep breath. “And let me guess… you do this for all your clients, huh?”

He easily maneuvered the Maybach through the posh streets of Greenwich. Nazir didn’t belong in Greenwich Pointe. I had spent so much time keeping our relationship hidden from Greenwich. I’ve always felt like Nazir was too genuine for this town.

I should have noticed him before he spoke, since his seat was nearly in the back with me to accommodate his height.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the other day.”

“And what do you want me to do with that information? Want me to jump into your lap, excited that you thought about me after all these years?”

What I wanted was to jump out of the car as he kept cruising, intentionally doing the speed limit to give us more time for this awkward conversation I didn’t want to have. I used to imagine how the conversation would go if I ever saw him again. Would I slap the hell out of him or rush into his arms because I had missed him so much?

My heart ached for this man as if it were a death. I mourned him and drove myself crazy trying to figure out where he had gone and why. The man I knew wouldn’t have abandoned me the way he did. A small part of me blamed myself for him leaving. Maybe if I hadn’t pushed, he wouldn’t have disappeared on me.

“You never left my mind, Tata.”

“Stop calling me that,” I replied firmly.

He wasn’t allowed to call me that. It was a name rooted in love, and now I wasn’t sure if what we had was even real. Someone who loved me as Nazir claimed he did wouldn’t have done what he did without an explanation.

Closure.

“Tata, I know what I did was fucked up, and I don’t think I could ever make it right. But I want the chance to try.”

My eyes welled up, and my voice cracked as I stared at the side of his face.

“You can never make this right, Nazir. Why do you think you can just pop back into my life and try to make everything right? Huh? What gives you the right to believe you can do that?”

My hands were balled up, and my face burned with anger. How does he think he can fix this? There’s nothing he can do to make this right.

“I don’t have the right, baby. But us crossing paths again wasn’t a coincidence. It was meant to happen. It was meant to confirm everything I’ve spent years thinking about. A nigga doesn’t deserve the chance I’m asking for, Tata. I know and understand that. But––”

“Stop,” I whimpered.

My heart was pounding so loudly I could hear it in my ears, and my vision was blurred from the tears that were begging to fall down my cheeks. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say because it wouldn’t make the situation better. Nothing could erase the fact that I had been forced to raise my daughter in a lie. Karim was who Nazira knew as her father. How was I supposed to look into her eyes and tell her that this stranger was her real father?

“I fucked up, and I have my reasons for why I left. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to explain.”

As we neared the gym, I silently thanked God. All my hidden emotions were surfacing, and I felt an overwhelming urge to get out of the car and away from him. Nazir didn’t deserve to see me cry. I was angry at myself for even being on the verge of tears. That was something I promised myself I’d never do over him again. I had spent so many years crying for a man who had left me. When I stared into my daughter’s face on the happiest day of my life, I felt sorrow because he wasn’t there to witness her being born. In my head, he had not only abandoned me; he had abandoned both of us.