Page 49 of What Maple Heard

“That would be nice,” she said.

“And Maple — there’s no hurry. I want to take this as slow or as fast as you need. I want to keep building things with River. There is no deadline here.”

I thought about my mother’s Christmas dinner invitation. I thought about how to say the next part without making her feel pressured. “There is one thing you should know,” I said. “I spoke to my parents about you last night. About us. I told them that I love you and that I want to be with you and River.”

Maple’s eyes went wide.

“You told your parents?”

“I did.”

“And what did they say?”

“They realized how serious I am. They were — they were more supportive than I expected. My mother—“ I paused. “My mother asked if you could come to Christmas dinner.”

Maple stared at me.

“You don’t have to,” I said quickly. “We can revisit that whenever you’re ready. I just wanted to tell you, because this time I don’t want any secrets between us. Not a single one.”

She nodded slowly.

“I still don’t understand,” she said carefully, “the two versions of you from that night. The Cade who bought those parenting books. And the Cade who said those things about me.”

“That night,” I said, “It was both. Both of those Cades were real and they were fighting each other.” I looked at her. “When I was with you and River, I was the happiest I had ever been. But when I was away from you, when I was around my parents and their world, the doubt would find its way in. I wasn’t even admitting to myself how close I was getting to you both.” I shook my head. “When I bought those books, I didn’t even tell myself what they meant. I didn’t want to admit that I already saw myself as a father figure to River. And then Kyle started pushing me that night after too many drinks, and I got defensive about all the things I hadn’t admitted to myself yet. And when I said those words—“ I stopped. “At that moment, I even thought I meant them. And then you left, and my life felt completely empty.”

“And now?” Maple asked.

“And now,” I said, “even though I haven’t fully won you over yet, I already feel like I can breathe again. Has that ever happened to you? Where stress makes it feel like something is sitting on your chest and you can’t get enough air? That’s what that first week felt like. Every single day.” I paused. “My mood ring app kept sending me warning sign notifications. At one point I genuinely thought I might have an actual heart attack.”

Maple laughed.

“I’ve heard some lines,” she said. “But that one is genuinely original.”

“I’m serious,” I said. “I have screenshots.”

She shook her head, still smiling.

I looked for words that could convey to her a little of what I felt.

“I should have told you all of this before,” I said. “I kept it to myself because I wasn’t ready to say it out loud. And I paid for that. But this time I want you to be part of every plan. Every thought. Every feeling — you’ll know about all of it. No more guessing games.”

She looked at me for a moment.

“And what’s the plan right now?” she asked.

“The plan right now,” I said, “Is to win your heart back. However long that takes.”

***

Chapter 16

Maple

When someone like Cade Sonnenberg tells you he plans to win you back no matter how long it takes, you better be prepared to get swept off your feet.

After he declared that he had planned to win my heart again, he showed me more of his intention throughout the fall festival. I walked back to the green room after our conversation outside the festival grounds to find the kids completely ready in their outfits, waiting in line for their turn at getting their faces painted. Cade was sitting in the front of the line, very carefully applying face paint to Blessing’s cheek. He himself was in full costume, looking like an oddly giant fairy in his orange tutu, golden wings, and the slightly tilted acorn hat.

He looked up when I came in, and smiled. I smiled back at him and waved to the kids. They all got excited and came out of line to show me their outfits. Then they promptly went back to the line and continued to patiently wait for their turn. After Cade finished painting all their faces and the kids scattered away commenting on each other’s face makeup, Cade came up to me.