Page 84 of Guarding Colton’s Witness

“Do you know what a foster family means?”

“No.”

“They’re a family who makes a home for a child who needs one. Tomorrow, we’re going to visit a family called the Baileys. They’re really nice, and they live in a house with a big yard, and they have a boy your same age. His name is Miles. They’re so excited to meet you.”

Sam leaned back to look at her, suspicion tightening his features. “Are you coming, too?”

Her heart cracked, the splinters slicing deep. “No, sweetie. I’ll still see you sometimes, but you’ll be living with them.” Hopefully, longer than just for a while.

“I don’t want to go.” He clutched her tighter, panic in his voice. “I want you and Doc to be my mommy and daddy.”

She kissed the top of his head, the ache in her chest spreading like fire. “No, we can’t be. This is what’s best for you, Sam. The Baileys are going to love you so much. And you’re going to have so much fun there. You and Miles are going to be best friends.”

His small hands fisted in her shirt. “But I already love you. And Doc.”

The tears she’d been holding back slipped free. She didn’t try to stop them. She buried her face in his hair and whispered, “I love you, too.” So much.

She bit the inside of her cheek, her heart cracking in places she didn’t want to name. God, she hated this part. Hated it every time. But this one… This one had slipped past the guardrails she’d put up after Mikey.

“Sam, I want you to have everything. A family that can keep you safe and love you forever. Not just for a few days.”

He leaned into her, pressed his forehead to her chest. “Is forever a long time?”

“Yes. So, you’ll be happy for a very long time.”

“What if I miss you? I think I will. And Doc.”

And just like that, she couldn’t breathe. They sat like that—he curled up on her lap—for a long time, neither moving, the room filled with the quiet hum of the refrigerator and the weight of goodbye.

When he finally fell asleep in her arms, she didn’t carry him to bed. She just held him, rocking slowly in the silence, memorizing the feel of him in her arms, the scent of his shampoo, the soft sighs of his breath, because tomorrow, she would have to let him go.

The clock ticked on. Each second louder than the one before. Each tick a second closer to walking up to the Baileys’ door, Sam’s little hand in hers, and giving him away. Because that was what it felt like she was going to do. Give him away like he was a piece of furniture she didn’t want anymore.

No, she couldn’t think like that. She was doing what was best for Sam. End of story.

* * *

“Where’s Ryan?”

Matti shrugged. “At the hospital, I assume.” Emily had been sitting at the island, drinking a cup of coffee, when Matti walked into the kitchen. What was she doing here so early? Her mother didn’t do early. “The sun’s barely up. Why are you here?”

Her mother narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean you assume?”

“Just what I said. I’m not his keeper, so I can’t say for sure where he is. Again, why are you here?” Not that she minded her mother dropping in, but she was never up with the sun without a reason.

“Can’t I visit my daughter without being interrogated?”

Matti rolled her eyes. “It was a simple question, Mom. Why are you even up yet? You write your books late into the night, and mornings are not your thing.”

“Jon ran into Ryan at the hospital this morning, asked if dinner was a go for Saturday night. Ryan said probably not. That the two of you mutually decided to take a break from each other.”

“So, Dad called and woke you up with the latest hospital gossip? Both of you need to stay out of my business.” And Ryan… He could have rightly put all the blame on her for their breakup, but he hadn’t. That’s just the kind of man he is, Matti. Yeah, it was. Had she made the biggest mistake of her life, sending him away? Not giving them a chance?

“Harsh, Matilda. I will never stay out of my children’s lives, and I’ll do everything in my power to help them find happiness. Ryan may say it was a mutual decision, but Jon said he’s never seen the man so devastated. It was solely your decision, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” she whispered. Leave it to her mother to see what was the truth and what wasn’t.

“Why? I’ve seen the way the two of you are together. Both of you have big hearts in your eyes when you look at each other. Why would you walk away from the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”