Page 6 of Riding the Curve

Just like now in Beau’s room.

Pressure builds in my chest as I watch Beau stare out the window. It’s eerily silent while he runs both hands through his onyx waves, looking pensively at the buildings below. It’s been two days since the fight broke out in the pits with no news of the repercussions of my actions.

“Jesus, kid.” He releases a heavy sigh, turning to sit down in the chair across from me. “Not only did the fight end up involving multiple drivers and crew, but it was recorded and now it’s all over the media. You know the board doesn't tolerate unsportsmanlike conduct. Initiating the fight on top of the reckless stunt you pulled on the track that could have caused an accident, it’s safe to say they were furious. I fought the best I could, Emerson. They suspended you until further notice.”

Fuck.

Anger and fear swirl inside of me, and once again I’m unable to hold it in the way I have for years. “Dammit, Beau! You can’t just take it all away because of one sudden outburst. It was just a fight,” I yell. I slam my fist down onto the desk beside me with such force, the open bottle of water on top topples over and spills onto the carpet. Beau’s face heats as he turns abruptly.

“A fight that should have never happened to begin with!” he growls back. “You're lucky that they didn’t revoke your damn license. I expect more from you, Emerson. You used to be a leader I could count on, the one I could send the rookies to for advice . . .” His voice trails off as he wipes a palm over his face.

“And now I’m not?” I ask, shame slowly dousing the anger that flamed through me just moments ago.

The remorseful look Beau gives me is my answer.

The moment my fist collided with Axel’s face, I knew I would have to face the music for what occurred. Yeah, I may be a bit of a reckless playboy off the track, but I really do try to maintain focus and professionalism when on it. That hard work helped earn the respect of my team, and helped me rise to the top of the rankings.

But off the track, this past year has been brutal for me. Grief’s taken its toll, and I find my control fraying a little more each day. When Axel brought up my Mama, the remaining string snapped. Perhaps because, in the darkest parts of my soul, I agree with him.

“Em, I’m worried about you.” Beau speaks softly, drawing me back to his gaze. “Your focus is lacking, and I’m beginning to wonder if your heart is in it like it used to be. Ever since Autumn passed, you’ve been slowly spiraling.”

The sound of her name makes me wince, tearing through the bandages around my heart. Even though it’s been two years since she passed, time hasn’t erased the gaping hole her death has left inside me.

“Eddy told me what Axel said down there, son.” He places a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Honestly, I think this suspension might be good for you.”

My brow lifts in response.

How could this ever be a good thing? I may have just ended my career.

“Take some time away, kid. Go home. Not to that fancy condo of yours back in Austin. Go home, to California. Visit your Dad, get back to your roots, find your focus again. In the meantime, I’ll keep working on the board to get your suspension lifted.”

“What about my chances of moving up to LMP2?” I swallow deeply, pushing down the rising nerves. I’ve been working toward this promotion for years, and I may have just erased every bit of hard work I’ve done. An uncomfortable silence lingers between us as Beau ponders his response.

“Make some serious changes, find the Emerson that I hired all those years ago, and I’ll give you back your shot, son.” His hand extends outward, awaiting mine. “Do we have a deal?”

“Deal,” I say, as we both rise and shake hands firmly.

Before exiting his hotel room, I glance back at the man who just single-handedly saved my career. “Thank you, Beau. I know you must have taken a lot of heat because of me. I promise to make it up to you.”

“Repay me by finding yourself again, Em.”

With a silent nod, I head back to my room to book a flight back to Oakley Falls.

“Ah, my son finally returns my call.” Preston Lane’s boisterous laugh rumbles against my ear.

“Hey, Dad,” I reply, my tone the opposite of his.

“Saw the race . . . and what happened after.” He clears his throat. “I assume that’s why you’re giving me a call?”

I struggle to find the right words to say. Dad has guided, pushed, and supported me through my entire dream. Now he’s about to find out that his son is unworthy of all that effort. He’s about to know how much of a failure I’ve become.

“I got suspended until further notice.”

“I see,” my father whispers across the line. I hold my breath, waiting for the disappointment in his tone that never comes. “So, what are you going to do in the meantime?”

My palm tugs at the back of my neck while I pace the room. “Yeah, that’s um—why I called. Beau thinks it would be a good idea for me to come home to Oakley Falls until the team board lifts my suspension. Would that be okay?”

The line goes silent and worry floods my thoughts. After my Mama passed, it’s been hard for me to set foot in our home. Every part of our land had a piece of her. Everywhere I looked, there was a permanent reminder that I’d never again hear her soulful laugh or feel the warmth of her embrace. Beautiful memories that should fill me with joy turned to ghosts that haunted my every step. Father’s deep voice pulls me from my dark thoughts. “This door is always open, son. You never have to ask to come home.”