Page 50 of Riding the Curve

As hard as I’ve tried over the years, deep in my heart I know that there has never been anyone else that affected me the way that Emerson Lane did—and still does. He’s always been there for me. I could always be myself around him. Never had to alter my appearance or dim my personality when I was around him. He’s the only man who’s seen all of me. Accepted me entirely.

I think my heart has been searching for him in every single man that I’ve been with. News flash, no one else ever compares.

When I take a step forward, my head whips around to search for the sound that rumbles alive in the silence. Squinting my eyes through the darkness, I inch my way closer toward the mysterious noise. Underneath a giant curling olive tree is a little sitting area and what looks like a giant six-person spa. I open the lid and the steam mists over me. The jets bubble rapidly, swirling the water around in a mesmerizing pattern. Everything about it screams relaxation, the rising steam beckoning me to come closer. Dipping my hand inside, I bask in the divine warmth. It’s glorious, just like I hoped.

The space is dimly lit as I survey the surrounding area for anyone that may catch me in here. There’s nothing but the hum of the spa to keep me company. My teeth press into my bottom lip as I contemplate the idea that sparks in my mind.

Before I can chicken out, I head back to my cabin to change and grab what I need.

My muscles melt as I slide down deep into the water, the jets doing their best to relieve the tension that has been trying to claw its way free all night. Unfortunately, it’s not enough to appease the burning inside deep within me. For that, I need something more.

Clutching the glossy pink vibrator in my hand, I look around one final time to make sure that I’m completely alone. I can’t believe that I’m about to do this. This is so unlike me, and something that I’ve never done in my entire life.

To be honest, I only bought this thing a year ago. Lost in my relationship, I yearned to feel . . . anything. But I only had the courage to use it once. Carson came home and caught me. He made me feel so ashamed for using it that I hid it and never had the courage to touch it again.

Until now.

My heart pounds against my ribs. This is reckless. Careless. Maybe even a little unhinged. But my brain is no longer in charge anymore. These desires are taking over every thought in my mind. Every inch of my skin burns with electricity that yearns to be released.

Roaming for the power button, my damp fingers slide over the smooth surface. Once I find it, I take a deep breath and turn it on.

It begins vibrating with such intensity that it shakes itself straight out of my hand and into the water. In shock, I watch it sink to the bottom. Damn. Using my toes, I grab the tool and bring it back to my hands, lowering the speed before it happens again.

This should probably be a sign to give up now. But being the stubborn goat that I am, I can’t back down from a challenge. This has become personal. Now, I’m going to show this stupid pink vibrator who’s boss.

Lowering it under the water, I glide it slowly down my stomach until it brushes against the part of me that needs the friction the most. Instant euphoria.

The sound that flies from my lips is scandalous, years of pent-up lust over a man I’ve always wanted but could never have. My palm flies over my lips to stifle my noises before I remember there’s no one is around to hear. Letting them slip free, I let my head fall back onto the edge of the spa as the delicious vibration against my clit has me seeing stars.

I’ve almost forgotten how heavenly I could feel.

Dragging my fingers slowly up my stomach, I palm my breasts. Gruffly grabbing and squeezing the way I imagine Em would. Dreaming of how his hot breath would feel against my skin as he whispers depraved things against the shell of my ear. What it would feel like if he explored every inch of my body with his mouth.

Needing more friction, I slip the vibrator underneath my black bikini bottoms and slide it in with ease. I can almost feel his weight on top of me as I increase my pace, chasing after the high building inside of me.

As I roll my knuckles over my sensitive peaks, my breath hitches. I pinch my nipple between my fingers, imagining it’s his teeth against my skin. The swell of pleasure that rushes through me makes my lips part as his name passes through them in a breathless plea.

“Good girl,” a deep voice floods my mind. “Make yourself feel good.”

My heart stalls in my chest, my movements frozen in place.

I peel my eyes open and come face-to-face with a very real Emerson Lane.

“Fuck, Henley. Don’t you dare stop now.”

His fingers wrap around the edge of the spa, his knuckles turning white. His chest heaves at almost the same pace as mine, both gasping for the last bit of air left in the space between us. Darkened eyes leisurely trace over every inch of me, searching for what my hands are doing beneath the water. I hold my breath as his hand slides over to the control panel.

One moment the spa is alive with bubbles; the next it’s as still as the night. Allowing his eyes access to everything below. I’ve never felt so exposed in my entire life. Every part of my brain is yelling at me to jump out of here. But my traitorous body has other plans.

“Show me.”

Oh my god.

Echoes of my thundering heartbeat reverberate in my ears. Am I really going to do this?

Trapped under his heavy-lidded gaze, I surrender. My eyes flutter shut as my hands begin to move once more.

“Eyes on me,” he rasps, and my eyes fly wide open. “If you’re going to make yourself come while thinking of me, I damn well better be able to see how stunning you look when you fall apart.”