Page 115 of Humility

“Fuck, I want to lick this food off your body.”

Jasmine laughed and pulled away, her hand going to my chest. “As much as I want you to lick something off my body, I don’t think that squid ink carbonara is the dish for it.”

“Fine, but if he brings whipped cream in here, all bets are off,” I teased, nipping at her ear.

Halfway through our meal, Jasmine spoke, and I froze.

“Just spill it,” Jasmine said.

“Spill what?”

She turned toward me, her intense stare stripping me bare. Jasmine dabbed at her mouth with a napkin as she gave me her ‘Don’t mess with me look.’ I knew this look well. She’d given me that same look since she was six years old.

“Why are you so nervous?” She looked around the office. “It’s just you and me in here. We have music playing and a wonderful meal, and your knee hasn’t stopped bouncing the entire time.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Angelo Riccardo Esposito, don’t you dare lie to me. I want to know what is going on right this minute.” I licked my lips and stood as my turbulent emotions warred over the right thing to do. I gripped the bookcase and stared at the tiger box and wished I could just tie her up and fuck her again.

“I want to get married,” I blurted out, cringing at my weakness. How could I shoot a man in the head without blinking but was terrified to lay all my atrocities at the feet of the one person I loved?

“I know. I want to marry you, too.” The confusion was evident in her voice. Turning around, I opened my mouth and closed it like an idiot. “Oh, dear god,” she said and covered her mouth.

“What?”

“Don’t you dare.” She stood suddenly, and now I was confused. “Don’t you dare say it.” Panic was written all over her face, and she backed away when I took a step in her direction.

“What do you think I’m going to say?” I stepped forward again as her eyes filled with tears, and this time, I grabbed her shoulders, not letting her back away. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what she thought I was going to say to cause this kind of reaction.

“Don’t you dare tell me you’re already married or have a family with someone else,” she said, and relief washed over me, making me smile. “Don’t Angelo, don’t make fun of me. Just tell me straight.”

Lowering myself to one knee before her, I grabbed her hand and kissed her ring finger. My ring would be on it very soon.

“No, Tiger. I am not married to someone else, and you’re the only person I’ve ever had unprotected sex with. I have no children.” The tears still flowed, but the fear that had been there a moment ago vanished from one blink to the next. “I have never loved another.”

“Then what is wrong? You’re freaking me out.”

Rolling out my shoulders, I looked into her eyes and decided that losing her was worse than burying my crap deep inside.

“I want to marry you right away. As soon as we can get the paperwork, I want us to be official.” Pushing myself to my feet, I cupped her cheeks and wiped the wet tears away.

“You don’t want a proper wedding with our friends and family?”

“The only friends and family I have are in this house. I don’t want to wait another second. We have had so many obstacles already, and I’m sick of everything trying to tear us apart.”

She nibbled her lip. “I wanted Papa to give me away.”

“And he can at a proper wedding we have later, but right now, I just want to call you mine. For real, this time. I also don’t want your father to have any choice but to accept us. If he knows about the pregnancy and the miscarriage, I’ll be lucky if he doesn’t shoot me on sight, let alone permit me to marry you.”

She sighed, and I hated playing this card. It made me feel dirty, but losing her wasn’t even in the deck to be dealt as a possibility.

“I know you’re right about that. I just always imagined a garden wedding and my papa at my side. It’s hard to picture having a shotgun wedding.”

“I don’t want anything else to come between us. Being together and facing whatever comes is what is most important to me. Together, we can conquer anything, but I need you to say yes, that you’ll do this.”

“This feels desperate, Angelo. Are you rushing for another reason?” She narrowed her eyes and searched my face.

“I do have another reason. We have had major scares recently, and that has put things into perspective, but I also want to start trying to have a family again. I know it feels fast when we’ve just reconnected, but we’ve already lost so much time. Please say yes. Please, and I promise we will have another wedding, the one of your dreams, with your father there.”