Page 24 of Risking it All

“Lady, I keep telling you that’s not your call. If it makes you feel better, we can figure it out together, OK? Right now, just get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

After spending the night in the hospital, I was finally released to go home. I felt like shit for more than one reason. The main one being how diligent Sawyer was about making sure I was good. I probably would never be OK. I was basically living on borrowed time.

“I’m sorry I went through your stuff, but I wanted to make sure you had what you needed. I had Shannon to bring your bag,” Sawyer explained, passing me a shopping bag. “I wasn’t sure about feminine products, so I told her to get a variety.”

I smiled at his thoughtfulness as he passed the bag to me. He had already gone above and beyond, yet he continued to try to do things to help me. It was more than enough that he was offering me a place to stay.

“Oh, she got me the fancy soap. Why in the world did you get that lady to bring pads and tampons, Sawyer?” I laughed.

“I figured you would need them. I didn’t see any in your luggage.”

“Wow, you literally thought of everything. Thankfully, I’m not on my period. I have enough to deal with as it is.”

“There was blood on the sheets when I woke up. I figured you started your cycle. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I know that’s part of being a woman.”

“I’m not ashamed, Sawyer. That’s not why I was bleeding.”

His eyes lowered into a scowl before he came up with a response. “Did you cut yourself? I figured you just took the pills.”

“No.” I sighed. I’d hoped that this wouldn’t come up, but since he was pressing the issue, I might as well let the cat out of the bag. “I’m not on my period, and I didn’t try to cut myself. More than likely, there was blood on the sheets from my hymen being broken.”

“Like—” This time, his frown was adorable. I could literally see his wheels turning as he plopped back down in the seat he’d made his home for the last twenty-four hours.

“I was a virgin.”

“Like you never had sex before, ever?” he asked.

“Not penetration. It was my first time.”

He was in front of me in a flash. His hands cupped my face as he stared down at me in horror.

“Oh, baby, no. Why would you let me do that to you? Is that why you . . . Z, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that. I’m so sorry, mama. I’m not like that. I need you to know that.”

“I didn’t say I thought you were a bad guy. I actually liked you.”

“Are you sure? Be honest, is that why you did what you did? I would have never done anything to hurt you. I thought we wanted the same thing.”

“Sawyer, you didn’t do anything that I didn’t want you to do. I gave you my virginity because I had already decided that I didn’t have any reason to live.”

“Can I help you change your mind about that?” he asked, looking at me with bunched brows.

“You can try, but I really don’t see how you can help me get out of this shit.”

“You can help me by telling me what’s going on. I know there’s a story behind the sorrow in these pretty eyes of yours.”

I shook my head and pushed his hands away. “You don’t even want to know.”

“Can I at least know if you killed somebody? I just need to know how to move.”

I didn’t think I would have laughed if he didn’t look so damn serious.

“No, I didn’t kill anyone, Sawyer.”

“Whew. I was sitting over here thinking it’s just my luck that I would fall for a virgin serial killer and have to go down for harboring a fugitive in twenty years when you finally get caught.”

“Wow.”

“Seriously, mama. I got you. Just know you can tell me whatever it is when you’re ready to talk.”