Page 44 of Unbreakable Thread

Drake whistles like a fucking psycho while walking to the car. “How about we go back to my place and go for a ride on the bikes?”

I laugh, opening the driver’s door. “Bikes?” The engine purrs, giving me a hard-on. I have a pickup, but I’d rather drive my restored Nova. “What are we, like, ten again?”

He shuts the door, and man-spreads his long legs, hitting the glove compartment. It jerks open. “Motorcycle. Just like the old days, remember? Only we had dirt bikes. The neighbor three houses down lent them to us.”

I knew what he was talking about. I just enjoyed fucking with him. How could I not remember? Drake taught me how to ride. It was easy. I took Sol with me a couple of times. Her giggles lit my heart like a wildfire. Her hands wrapped around my waist as we rode. I wanted to bottle that warmth and keep it forever. “I’m not riding, bitch.”

He laughs, looking through my glove compartment, still as nosy as he was then. He pulls out the packages of condoms. “I have more than one motorcycle, kiddo.” He waves the condoms at me. “Damn, you’re always prepared. I haven’t had sex in a car in a long time.”

“Thanks for the unneeded info on your sex life, and yes, with Rainey, I always have to be prepared; she’s fucking hot.”

We’re speeding on the highway, the traffic tailing like a snake. It never eases up.

“I’d just rather fuck elsewhere. Car sex reminds me of a certain someone,” he says bitterly. “Why call her Rainey? She knows and remembers who she is. I think you need to normalize it more for her. I completely understand how weird and freaked out she is to have a previous life she doesn’t recall. If someone said my name was Peter, I’d freak out as well. How is she ever going to accept and feel comfortable in her own skin if you keep calling her Rainey? Her adoptive parents might have kept her safe physically, but mentally, they fucked her.”

That they did. They left her in the dark for so many years. “I understand all you’re saying, but it’s not that easy when you’re staring at the woman who means everything to you, and she has a wall so high you can’t reach the top of it. I’ve called her Sol a couple of times. The expression she gives me is as if I’m longing for the person she used to be. She was a child then, but as a woman, I know her as Rainey. I was forced to know her with that name—that person, and I love every part of her. If she gives us a chance again, I’ll call her whatever she wants. Deep down, I know she will choose to be Sol. I just don’t want to force it on her.” If she gives us a chance again. It’s been two months without her. I can’t bear the pain in my chest.

I can’t breathe without her. I can’t function without her.

Chapter 13

Rainey

Tears run down my cheeks as I look at the ultrasound photo while sitting in my car. I can’t believe I’m going to be a mother. My heart bursts with something I don’t have one word for—excitement and fear and a sadness I can’t quite place. Fear because what if I’m not a good mother? I know I’ve had good role models in my life. But it’s the fear of not being able to move forward that scares me. What if countless hours of therapy don’t help me? I know I need to think positively. My sadness is not having Max by my side.

Sitting at my appointment, watching other couples together, shattered me. I pictured Max and me sitting together, him hearing and seeing our child’s heartbeat for the first time. For a whole week before my appointment, I thought long and hard. I wanted him to be in our child’s life even if we were not together. With my pulse skyrocketing, I called him twice, and it went straight to voicemail. Leaving a voicemail saying “Hey, I’m pregnant” didn’t seem right. I took that as a sign to wait and do what I’d planned—work on myself to be better for our baby.

I’m ten weeks pregnant. I can’t believe it didn’t click in my head. Instead, Hector is the one who pieced it together. That explains my weight gain and nausea. I finally told my sister, and she was jumping up and down with excitement. Then I called my brother. The tug in my heart escalated because it feels wrong, Max not knowing before everyone else.

My tires crunch over broken asphalt as I ease out between faded yellow lines. The Mustang’s engine whines when I accelerate onto the university campus to pay my fees. Someone leans on their horn behind me—a long, impatient blare followed by two short angry honks. I’m not sure if it’s at me. Okay, it is at me, dammit. I know I’m a horrible driver, but I’m giddy thinking about my baby, whether he or she will have Max’s eye color or his beautiful smile. I don’t even care if the baby looks like his twin. The man has amazing genes.

I make it to campus safely, with no scratches or dents on my car. Max recently fixed my car after I dented it.

The woman at the front desk smiles at me from her computer. “Hello, how can I help you?”

“Hi, I came to pay my enrollment fee for the semester.”

She nods and exits whatever she was doing. “Okay. Name, please.”

“Rainey Collins.”

Her long, painted nails click on the keyboard—her brows furrow. “Um…” She clicks some more. “Okay…” Her eyes are wild on the screen. “I don’t see your name here, hun.”

What the hell? “Are you sure?”

She eyes me like I’m stupid. “Yes, ma’am.”

Maybe I enrolled under another name. No. I know I didn’t. But I ask anyway. “How about Sol…Mendoza?”

“Hmm…yes, found you. Sorry, it was under Rainey Collins. I must have missed it.” She eyes me suspiciously. “Well, your account shows paid.”

My brows scrunch together. “Are you sure? Because I haven’t made a payment. Maybe you have the wrong person.”

She recites my classes and pivots the screen so I can see. It’s my date of birth and all my classes. I’m so confused. Who paid for my classes? Max, it had to be him. Who else?

Making my way to the student store to buy one of the required books, I run into a familiar man.

“Professor Mills?”