Page 35 of Unbreakable Thread

We watch ghost stories that would have me live in a cave instead of in a place where something is scratching the shit out of me. Lana stirs up a conversation about how she’s been seeing Toby, the ringside physician. She claims they are starting slow, just hanging out, and seeing where it all leads, if it does. I’m guessing she forgot about the one-night stand she had in the hospital room. She hasn’t spoken about him. Her dad is having a field day about it. He wants her to settle down.

“Is he still trying to force you to marry him?” I ask, licking my cheese fingers from the bag of chips.

She snorts. “No, he can’t force me to do shit, but I will give it a try. Only because Toby is sweet and we have some stuff in common.”

Minutes later, I’m dozing off on the sofa. I’m always unsure what dreams I’ll have. Will they be sweet, full of wondrous things? Will it be a nightmare?

Tonight, it’s a nightmare. One I wish to erase from my memory.

Chapter 10

Max

My knuckles split on the third jab, but I keep going, leaving smears of red across the vinyl. The chain creaks overhead with each impact. Sweat stings my eyes. I fucked up. I’ve always hated to drink to the point I don’t remember shit. I let the one woman Rainey despised with a passion give me a ride home. I had double-checked my phone to make sure I called Carlos because I sure as hell didn’t have Annette’s number. Annette had given me her number years ago in Tahoe. I deleted it the moment I knew it bothered Rainey. I don’t know why Carlos sent her. It was my fault for allowing myself to get drunk like my father. I probably scared her.

I know that is not the only reason she needed her space. I understand she’s going through a lot. Her head is a scattered mess. If only she’d allow me to be her rock, but for now, I’ll give her what she needs. Space. I’ll help her in ways she won’t know what I’m doing.

Blood trickles down my knuckles, numbing the pain in my chest. Not enough, though.

When I got home and found it empty once again, it was the worst feeling imaginable. Like a woman getting a divorce, she took some of her stuff and Daisy. That’s fine that she took the dog. She needs Daisy to protect her when I’m not there.

It’s been four long, miserable days without her. I’ve picked up the phone so many times only to delete the texts before I send them. I’ve slept on my side. I always sleep on my side. Then at three in the morning, I rolled over. Her side of the bed. Vanilla. The lotion she rubs on her perfect legs. How fucking cruel is that? And our bathroom is filled with her women’s products. I cursed when I untangled a thread of her hair wrapped around my balls. She literally has me by the balls, and she doesn’t even realize it. I meant what I said. She will always be mine as I am hers.

If she fucking thinks I’d fall in love with another woman, then she’s out of her damn mind. I’ll engrave each letter of her name on my knuckles so she can get a better view than the tattoos on my chest.

“Cálmate, Max. Why in the fuck are you not wearing gloves?” Carlos shouts, running out of his office. I haven’t told anyone about Rainey and me. It’s no one’s damn business. My jaw clenches as I throw two more jabs. Carlos’s hand clasps my shoulder, pulling me back. “What’s going on?”

“I have a lot in my head,” I bark a little too harshly.

“You’ve been out of your game these past couple of days.”

I have, and for good reasons. “Rainey wanted us to break up,” I admit to him only because he’s a role model in my life.

His eyebrows jump. “What?” He shakes his head. “No, I don’t believe it.” Carlos’s gray hair is visible through the light. Somehow, I’d missed that he’s aged in the last couple of months.

“She’s going through a lot,” I tell him, because she is.

“She is, but it’s nothing you can’t sort out.” He squeezes my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get your knuckles cleaned up. You can’t be doing this shit. Put gloves on if you want to hit the bags. You have a fight in eight months.”

“Sure, Rainey and I can work on it, but it’s not that simple, Carlos. She’s been through hell and back.”

He turns on the faucet. I slide my knuckles under the stream, the water pinking immediately. My breath hisses through my teeth. Dammit, I should have worn gloves, but in the heat of the moment, I need to release steam.

“I get it, but maybe this is something you both could use for a bit. She just needs space to work things out in her head. Before the accident, she was leaving. Just give her time, hijo.”

I stare at the pink water. It’s a reminder of how I almost lost her when she fell down cement stairs. She ran off because she wanted space to think. She was worried I wouldn’t give it to her. Carlos was there at the Underground. He witnessed it all. I pat my knuckles on a paper towel. “I know. I’m giving her space. I’ll be here when she’s ready.”

Carlos heads back to his office, and Leo and Xander are arguing over something in the corner. Not surprising. They fight over dumb shit. Leo glances over Xander’s shoulder and sprints to me. “Hey, bro.”

“Hey.”

Leo puffs his cheeks. “I’m sorry, dude, are you okay? How are you doing? I know breakups can be hard. My advice is to listen to breakup songs while you cry in bed.”

“Dammit, Leo, didn’t I tell you to shut the fuck up, man?” Xander says.

Leo’s lips go into a straight line, then he sighs. “I tried, but I needed to check on him.”

I guess that’s what the argument was about.