Page 98 of Bulletproof
“Could you let me talk to you and not say one word until I’m completely done?”
“Oh God—”
“Please, Fal.”
He sighed deeply, but he agreed.
As a rule, I could talk really fast when I wanted, and breathing became unnecessary. I started with the fact that my life was sort of currently under construction and ended, twenty minutes later, with how I had to ditch the bad parts and build on the good.
He was a good part, and Dylan thought so too.
“Let me get this straight,” he growled at me. “You want me to jump into the deep end with you simply on faith and conviction and hope that hard work and a good reputation will be enough to carry us?”
“Pretty much.”
“Jor—”
“Will you just talk to Dylan before you make up your mind?”
“I—”
“Please, Fal.”
“Is this what it’s like, living in your world? Like a goddamn roller coaster?”
What was I going to do? Lie? “Yeah, a little.”
“A little?” He was incredulous.
“Please, Fal, I’m ready to really try this time. I mean, I was last time, too, but last time, when we hit a bumpy patch, I was like, Yeah, okay, throw in the towel, because I figured it was me and I was gonna fuck up anyway, you know? Better to just have the exercise in terror be over, me being a grown-up and all.”
“And now?”
“Now I know what I’m doing, and I have a way that I wanna treat people that I think they will respond to. I don’t want my ethics dependent on the bottom line of money anymore. I want to do the right thing by folks all the time, and if I run my own company, I can, and I think that will be really good. I just—”
“Jory—”
“It’s kind of your fault, Fal.”
“Mine?”
“Yeah. You see me. Only Sam and Dane and Dylan and Aja really see me, you know? There’s, like, five of you in the whole world who don’t think I’m a total fuckup.”
“Oh God.”
“And Shane, right?” I teased him. “Shane digs me, right?”
“Yeah, he kind of—”
“And my friend Evan and his boyfriend, Loudon—them too. They see me.”
“Jory—”
“Doesn’t Shane want you to be your own boss?”
“Well, yeah, he always says that—”
“Pretty please with sugar and honey, see Dylan.”
