Page 111 of Last Rites

“Kit, not in the kitchen!” Penny chuckled and pushed off my hands, tugging his shirt back down. “I mean, sure in the kitchen, just not next to the hot stove, and maybe not when Rosie could wake at any moment. And at least let me finish breakfast first. Ben came by a bit ago and brought some sausage. I asked him about opening a bakery in town, and he said⁠—”

His expression grew serious when he caught sight of my face. He gripped my shoulders and pulled me in to sag against him. “Kit, what’s wrong?”

“You were gone,” I said, fighting to get my breathing under control as my arms slipped around his waist. I dug my fingers into his back to reassure myself he was real. “I woke up, and you were gone, and I thought…”

He leaned his head against mine and clung on equally tight. “I didn’t mean to worry you; I was just in the next room.”

I hiccupped a sob and pressed impossibly close. “You were dead,” I whispered. “I watched you die. I still…” Another sob stole my voice, but I swallowed it down before it could become anything more. “I dreamt it, and it felt so real. You were gone, and I was alone, and... You were supposed to be safe. I was supposed to keep you safe…”

He shushed me, rubbing soothing circles over my back and easing me out of the mindless panic. He didn’t speak, but I didn’t need him to. Just hearing his heartbeat beneath my ear and feeling the warmth radiating from his skin was enough.

Slowly, my breathing calmed and my own heart slowed as the tension seeped out of me. Penny stayed in place and let me soak up all the comfort I needed.

“Better?” he asked a few minutes later.

I nodded and shifted back, trying not to let shame creep in that I needed these reassurances so often.

Penny didn’t let me go far. He cupped my face in his hands and lifted my chin so he could meet my eyes. “I’m fine, Kit. Alive, and whole, and safe.” He leaned in and pressed his forehead against mine. “Same as you.”

My hands crept up to cover his, still desperate for more contact to remind myself that he was really here. “Alive and safe,” I murmured, much quieter than I’d meant to.

He tilted his head and pushed up to steal a gentle kiss. Before I could lean in for another, he twisted his hands to capture mine.

“Come sit down.”

I had no intention of letting him out of my sight anytime soon, so I let him lead me to the table. He released one hand long enough to pull out a chair and guide me into it. Then he crouched in front of me, his hands leaving faint streaks of flour behind as he slid them up my thighs.

“I’ll get you some coffee. Help you wake up a bit.”

He kissed me again and went to the stove where a kettle was already steaming, then filled a mug and pressed it into my hand.

I caught the hem of his shirt with my free hand before he could get far, and he curled his fingers around mine with a soft, understanding smile.

“You’re fine with me,” I said, my voice still smaller than I wanted it to be. “Tell me again.”

“Always, Kit.”

I let him go to rescue the pancakes and sausages that were edging closer to burnt every moment he fussed over me.

The familiarity of watching him move around the kitchen like a whirlwind did as much to soothe my lingering sleep-induced worry as his words had. It would pass eventually, I knew, once I could shake off the nightmares that plagued me in the early morning hours. When I was properly awake, I wouldn’t feel the need to see him to believe he was still okay.

By the time he served up breakfast and Rosie shuffled into the kitchen to join us, I felt more myself.

“I didn’t get a chance to tell you what I talked to Ben about this morning,” Penny said as he slathered butter over his pancakes. “He came by to drop off some supplies, and we got to talking about how Rosie and I want to open up a bakery. He said he thinks there’s a good place for it near his shop. It was the tailor’s before she moved to a smaller space on the other side of the square. It’ll need ovens, display cases, and all the trappings, but…” He turned a blinding smile on me. “I’ll be able to see the smithy through the front windows.”

It was impossible not to smile in return. “Going to keep an eye on me?” I asked.

“More likely to rush over to give you a taste of whatever just came out of the oven.” Rosie smirked. “He’ll need to take up leatherworking again to keep making you longer belts.”

“He’ll work it off in the smithy,” Penny replied with a dismissive wave of the butter knife.

The sunlight streaming in through the window above the sink glinted off the blade, and for a moment it was the knife I’d buried with the remains of the Vessel back in Ashpoint. The one I’d made to jokingly threaten Penny. The one that had ultimately killed us both.

My mood sobered, but Rosie and Penny were caught up in the prospect of their new venture and carried on without any further input from me. Not that my flagging enthusiasm went unnoticed; Penny’s free hand settled on my knee and kept up a constant, gentle pressure that helped direct my thoughts away from less pleasant things.

Even after such a long journey, none of us had any interest in lingering around the house, so once breakfast was finished and the dishes cleared away, we set out for town. Penny was all too happy to lace his fingers with mine and walk so close that our shoulders knocked with every other step. Rosie spent the walk taking in her surroundings, much easier to make out in daylight than the middle of the night like the last time she’d been here.

I was ready to throw myself back into work at the forge. A small taste of normalcy would be a welcome reprieve and keep my mind from things I was trying to forget. And when Ben met us outside the canopy of the shop, I knew he’d keep Penny and Rosie busy while I took care of some things I’d been itching to do for the last two weeks.