Page 38 of Open Net

I wanted to blame the player that hit me. I wanted to cuss him out. Drive to his home and take out his knee. I wanted him to suffer for what he’d done, but that wasn’t how this worked. Yes, it was an intentional hit, and he got a major penalty but it wasn’t enough. I burned, seeking revenge.

By the time I got home, my rage was just below my boiling point. I wanted to head to my gym and get on the bike for a few hours. Burn off the anger in the healthiest possible way. Too bad I couldn’t. Not with my brace. I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. I wanted to scream, but I needed to reign it in. I couldn’t let these feelings consume me. I made myself take ten deep breaths before getting out of the car.

The minute I opened the front door, I heard the crying.

I walked toward the sound finding Emma rocking our hysterical son in the living room. She glanced up at me with purplish-black circles around her eyes.

“What’s going on?”

Emma’s glistening eyes told me she was just as close to breaking as I was. I should probably hug her or something, but I couldn’t get myself to comfort her. Him.

I needed comforting myself. We were a sorry lot.

“He’s been like this all day,” she said. “I called the doctor, but he said since Jackson doesn’t have a fever it probably wasn’t anything serious. Maybe tummy pain.”

I shook my head. “How long has this been happening?”

She blinked and a tear fell down her cheek. “Since eight.”

It was three in the afternoon. I swore under my breath. “Why didn’t you call me? Or someone to come help you?”

Her shoulders dropped. “I don’t want anyone else to have to deal with this.”

I ran my hands through my hair. “You have to ask for help, Emma. You have a dozen people ready and waiting to help but they can’t unless you ask.”

She cowered and I realized I was yelling, making Jackson cry louder.

I shook my head and groaned inwardly. I hadn’t meant to yell, but I was frustrated. After the crappy day I’d had I couldn't handle another bad thing. Knowing Emma had been dealing with this alone for seven hours made me feel like a jerk.

I’d been holding a pity party for myself while my wife lost her mind and my son was inconsolable. Just another thing I was failing at. Maybe Coach could find a replacement husband and father too. Put me on the injured list in my family.

“I didn’t want to bother anyone.” She switched to bouncing, but the crying didn’t stop.

“Let me take him.” I took a step closer, but Emma flinched. “What’s wrong?”

“Maybe you should take a shower or go sit in the hot tub.”

“Why?”

She paused. “You seem a little tense.”

I sighed. “I’m fine. Let me help you.”

She shook her head. “No, go relax.”

“How can I relax when I know you’re in here alone?”

Her lip quivered. “Olli, you need to calm down.”

I took a step back, shaking my head. “No, I need people to stop trying to control me.”

I felt useless.

And angry.

And tired.

I wanted to run on the treadmill or outside, but I couldn’t.