Page 29 of Open Net

“Understatement,” I mumbled.

She circled me with her clipboard, making notes every so often. I wanted to rip it away from her and read what she was writing about me, but I refrained.

“You’ve got to be patient with yourself. You suffered a major injury and you’re not going to get any better without rest and small steps.”

I wanted to squat and jump to prove how wrong she was, but just the thought made my knee ache. I hated that she was right. It wasn’t her fault. I had to repeat it to myself a hundred time during each of our sessions, but I was frustrated.

My body was betraying me. I was stronger than this, wasn’t I. I’d made sure I was in peak condition. I ate clean and stayed away from alcohol. All that work and I was still being punished? It didn’t feel right.

“Remember how bad Erik was?” Madi asked.

I nodded. Watching him fall to the ice from the other side of rink during that game made me sick. There was nothing I could do to warn or help him. Time had slowed down as he fell and didn’t get up. Once he got to the hospital and we knew what had happened there was a sense of relief. He was out for a few weeks and recovered fully.

I needed surgery. This was different.

Neither Madi nor my doctors had told me how bad it was. I think Coach had something to do with it, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t be returning before Thanksgiving. I had to be fine by the time Christmas came though. I’d be back for the second half of the season. I had to.

“How’s Emma?” Madi asked and took another note. “I haven’t had a chance to come over for a while. I feel terrible.” She led me to the wall and gestured for me to sit. I got to the floor by half-falling and half-leaning against the wall.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “There’s always someone around.”

I situated myself and started with the heel slides she’d shown me last time. I’d been doing them at home since I wanted to improve my mobility faster than her slow and steady plan. “Her mom will be here soon too. Her little sister broke her leg, so she had to delay her trip but with all the help you guys have given, Emma’s survived.”

My answer seemed to satisfy Madi. “That’s good to hear. I’ll try to get over this weekend.”

I nodded and concentrated on not ripping off my knee brace and throwing it out of the room. It was better than the beast I’d had strapped to my legs after surgery, but it was still annoying. I was even down to one crutch which Madi said was a big accomplishment. The brace made it awkward and a little uncomfortable to do the exercises I needed to, but Madi swore it was necessary.

“Next time,” she said, “I’m going to start you on calf raises.”

I fake cheered and watched out the glass windows as the team walked past, headed to the ice for practice. My stomach clenched at the thought of another missed day.

A few of the guys waved as they passed and I nodded back, but I craved being out there with them.

“How much longer?” I asked.

“Fifteen minutes.”

I shook my head as I slid my heel back, bending my knee as far as I could take it. “No, How long before I can go back?”

Madi was suddenly enraptured by her clipboard.

“Madi, what is it?” I asked.

She finally met my eyes. “Olli…”

I didn’t like her tone, or the way her expression turned sympathetic. It was like she was trying to console a child who had just found out the zoo had closed early and there would be no lions today.

“What is it, Madi?” I repeated.

She brushed her hair behind her ear then sat on a bench across from me. “It’s not going to be anytime soon.”

“So like Christmas?”

She shook her head.

Dread seeped into my bones. “February?”

Her eyes dropped. “No, Olli.”