Page 13 of Topped

A million things.

Ten million things.

But… I didn’t want him to use any of them.

Lizzie’s hot snake dad.

It was so Milo. Irritating and ridiculous. And, annoyingly, I really liked it.

Chapter Five

Milo

“Why do you have a snake on your head in this picture?” Darcy asked, shoving his phone under my notice and pointing at the photo of me and Lizzie I’d posted on Instagram. “Where did you even find a snake in the first place?”

“For your information, that is Miss Elizabeth Bennet. She is a butter royal python and she belongs to Rupert,” I said as I hefted tubs into the display freezer. We were meant to get a warm weekend, a rare last bit of proper sunshine in mid-October before autumn really kicked in, and we were hoping to be busy. One last end-of-season rush to give our finances a boost, and our customers a final taste of summer.

Naturally, Darcy was panicking that we wouldn’t have enough stock.

I was tempted to tell Owen to take him home for an hour at lunch and bring him back suitably de-stressed. It would benefit all of us.

“That’s a sweet name,” Alfie said, coming through the kitchen door with a box of homemade cones.

“A sweet name for a sweet face,” I said. I was pleased he agreed, because I wasn’t going to put up with anyone slandering Miss Elizabeth under my roof.

“It is a very sweet face. Jonathan and I both said it.” Alfie put the box down and looked around Darcy’s shoulder. “I mean, look at her little nose. I take it your head is comfortable?”

“Apparently! Rupert thinks it’s because I shaved my head so it’s nice and warm for her. She does make a pretty good hat.”

“Is she heavy?”

“A bit. But I’ll get used to it.”

“I’m sorry,” Darcy interjected, glancing between the two of us with astonishment. “Can we just go back a little bit please? To the point where you were at Rupert’s house. No, before that. How did this even happen?”

I shrugged as I slotted another tub into place. “You told me to make friends with him, so I am.”

Darcy stared at me, his eyes boring into the side of my skull like a laser drill. “All this time. You could have made friends with him all this time. And you’re choosing to do it now? Now?! After months of antagonization and stupid pranks and encouraging seagulls to shit on his back door, and now you’re, what, calling it quits and becoming besties?”

“Okay, when you put it like that it does sound a little bad,” I said. “But you made me promise things would be better between us next summer, so I’m starting now while I remember.”

“So, what, this is some kind of game to you?” Darcy asked. He didn’t sound any less annoyed. In fairness, maybe I could have chosen better words. But what the fuck was I supposed to say? Hey I’ve discovered the guy next door might not actually be the complete arsehole I thought he was?

That would mean admitting I was wrong, and that I’d been a dickhead to him for the last five months for no particular reason.

And I didn’t fancy doing that.

“No. I just… Rupert might be fastidious and uptight, but he’s not quite as bad as I first thought.”

“Is that you admitting you were wrong?” Darcy’s lip twitched, a glint of amusement dancing in his eyes.

I scoffed. “Don’t push your luck. I am never wrong. I just occasionally make decisions based on bad information, and that’s not my fault.”

Darcy let out a long-suffering sigh, and Alfie chuckled. Sometimes I wondered why the two of them put up with me, given that I could be an impulsive, careless, annoying wanker. But that was the thing about being best friends, you put up with each other’s foibles and encouraged each other to be better. And worse.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that,” Darcy said, rubbing his forehead with one hand. He either had a headache coming on or he was wondering why the fuck he loved me.

“Don’t worry about me,” I said. “I promise I won’t make things worse.”