Page 160 of Time To Learn

No. I refuse to believethat.

“It won’t be,” I murmur, fisting the letter until my knuckles turn white.

“What’s that?” the taxi driver says and I look up, clenching my teeth.

“Nothing.”

He shrugs and looks back at theroad.

“Going on a holiday, areye?”

He glances at me in his rear-view mirror.

I shake my head and release the letter, trying to flatten it against my thighs. I promised Laura I’d read it, so that’s what I’lldo.

“No. Just need to settle something in my past, so I can get on with my future.”

I stare hard out of the window, not in the mood to talk, and luckily, the driver catches on, because he doesn’t say another word until we reach the airport half an hour later.

“Good luck, lad,” he winks at me as I reach forward in my seat to payhim.

I smile grimly at him and nod before I get out, but when he hands me my luggage, I attempt a friendlier smile.

“Thank you,” I say as I grab my suitcase and head into the busy airport.

It doesn’t take me long to check in and since I lingered for longer at the farm, I just barely make it in time for boarding.

Only half listening to the stewardess droning on in that fake, upbeat tone of voice that seems to be mandatory wherever you travel, I glance out the window and look at the depressing rain pouring down outside.

Soon after, my stomach coils as the plane takes off, and I grimace as I leave my new home behindme.

“Would you like some breakfast, sir?”

I turn my head and nod at the friendly, blonde stewardess standing in the aisle. Her eyes are kind and patient as she waits for my answer.

“Yes, please,” I sigh, only now noticing how hungry I am, and I take the tray fromher.

As she turns to greet the travellers opposite me, I put Laura’s letter down on the seat next to me and shrug off my jacket. Bracing myself for what I’m about to read, I take a long sip of my coffee and sigh heavily.

I almost snort when I notice my hands shaking badly. I’m not used to feeling this nervous, but one thing I’ve come to realise the past three months is that Laura brings out sides of me I never knew existed.

Protectiveness.

Vulnerability.

“Fuck,” I breathe and open the envelope, almost tearing it to pieces, but I force myself to slow down a little as I pull out the thick band of folded paper. My breathing speeds up as I count the pages roughly—there must be at least fifteen.

Shit. Laura must have been up all night writingit.

Then I start reading.

Dearest Kristian,

Living with a man who turns into a monster almost every night for years makes you lose a part of your own humanity.

I almost wish I didn’t have to tell you what happened two years ago, but if we are ever to have a future together, I know I must. You deserve to know all there is to me, even the inhuman part. I only wish I had the courage to tell you everything face to face, but we have run out of time, leaving me no other choice but to write a letter instead.

Brace yourself, baby. This is the kind of story that willhurt.

My heart clenchesand I close my eyes briefly. Somehow, it feels as if Laura is sitting right beside me, holding my hand, and an eerie calm settles in my body as I reopen my eyes to continue.

I told you that James is dead—and this is the truth.

What I failed to mention, however, is that I am the reason he is no longer amongst the living.

Two years ago, I reached breaking point, and I killedhim.

I killed my own husband…and to this day, I do not regretit.