Page 33 of Rookie Attraction

“Sorry it’s late.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Sel. I’m just relieved to hear your voice.”

“Fuck, I’m a shitty friend.”

“No you’re not. You’re going through something major and it’s a lot to deal with. Come on. Talk to me.”

I’m choked up at the concern in his tone and cough to ease the constriction in my throat.

“I don’t know where to begin,” I admit.

“From the beginning.”

“It might take a while.”

“I’ve got nothing else to do.”

“Not even your husband?”

It’s the first joke I’ve made in what feels like years, not months. It’s not original, but it’s all I’ve got.

“Finally, my friend is back,” Damien chuckles. “And for the record, Silas is sound asleep and I’m in my office. Come on, bud, it’s okay. Talk to me.”

So I do. I tell Damien about my conversations with Miki, how confident I was that everything would be fine once I came out, and the fallout in Chicago.

“It still doesn’t feel real, D. I knew things were going to change, but I guess I didn’t anticipate how much. I don’t recognize myself, or my life. I’ve lost so many people I thought were my friends.”

“If they didn’t support you coming out, they weren’t your friends to begin with. Fuck ’em.”

I smile at his bluntness.

“Tell it like it is, Damien.”

“You know I always do. Things suck right now and you’re under a shitload of stress, I’m not denying that, but think about what starting over means. Whoever comes into your life from here on out is going to be aligned with who you are as a person, not just as a hockey player.”

I’m wading through the shock of change—friends, cities, teams, homes—but Damien’s comment makes me pause. Lately I’ve been questioning whether I made the right choice, even though I know in my heart that I did. It’s like sitting in the sin bin; I’m frustrated but it doesn’t last forever. And he’s right, now I know who my real friends are, even if there’s not a legion of them. I think back to the messages I got from several players on different teams. I’m not totally alone.

And then there’s Finn. He’s been the biggest surprise of all.

“I didn’t think of it that way.”

“Mark my words, a couple of months from now, you’re going to be living your best life. Better than anything that came before. Better than anything you can imagine right now.”

I want that more than anything.

“I wish I had your confidence, D.”

“You’ve got it, Sel. It’s taken a hit, but it’ll come back. You’ve got the passion and you’re a fighter, and I’m so fucking proud of you—” Damien pauses. “There are people in your life who have your back. Let us support you.”

My chest warms, and I feel like a fool for avoiding him for so long.

“Ever consider a career in psychology instead of coaching?”

“Please,” Damien scoffs. “This is the extent of my life advice.”

“Well, I appreciate your perspective all the same. And I could use it on something else. I’m not supposed to tell anyone but fuck it⁠—”

“What’s going on?”