Page 22 of Rookie Attraction

When I first arrived at the Apex, also known as the Rush arena, in my brand-new navy pinstriped suit, I was confident, and a little cocky. Until I spotted the scores of media lined up, shouting and taking pictures, and reality smacked me in the face. My teammates walked in like they were strutting down a red carpet, totally unfazed by the surrounding chaos, but me? I tripped over my own feet, sweated through my shirt, and completely froze when someone called out my name. Cocky left the building and I desperately need him back.

This game against Miami is sold out and the place is packed. You can hear the thunder of the crowd down here in the locker room and it’s more than intense. The rink is crawling with fans, media, staff, the team owner, hell it sounds like half the Big Apple is here. We’re televised. People will be watching me. My family, my friends, strangers.

If you fuck up…

No. I won’t let my mind go there. I’ve worked too hard to give up when it matters most. Eventually my nerves will settle… as soon as my defensive partner arrives. I glance around the locker room for the hundredth time, but I don’t see any sign of Sel, and my gut churns harder.

Where is he? And why is he late?

Ever since that night at Sel’s, I’ve wanted to text or call to see how’s he’s really doing. Sure, I see him at the rink, and we chat a bit, but it’s all about work and I can tell he’s on edge. No wonder, since Brady and St. Clare keep acting like asshats, either ignoring Sel or giving him strange looks. Thank fuck the rest of the team is cool, but still.

I also wanted to ask Sel if he’d like to hang out again. Besides the hockey advice and finding out about his family, we had a chill time. I don’t think many people get to meet the genuine Selwin Kirkland—not the hockey star or the guy with a quip for everything, but the real deal—and ever since that night, I think of him as a friend. Because that’s what’s going on here. Sort of. Or at least, we could be. It seems like that might happen, and why not? And it sure as fuck wouldn’t affect how we play together. He’s amazing to work with and I’ve learned so much from him already.

The later he is, though, the more unsettled I get. Not for me, but for him. I worry something bad’s happened. It’s his first game as an openly queer player and I can only imagine his nerves are worse than mine. Or maybe he’s sick? Injured? Wouldn’t the staff have said something? Trying to clear my head of racing thoughts, I bend over, shove my skates on, and despite trembling hands, finish tying my skates.

When I sit back up, I catch a glimpse of my missing partner.

Relief floods my veins as concern turns to amusement; Sel bolts into the locker room like a Tasmanian devil, and if he runs any faster, he’s gonna rip the tight suit jacket he’s wearing. Sel’s only an inch taller than me, but bulkier, so the ground vibrates with the weight of his steps. There’s a quick hand-wave when he spots me, and when he reaches his stall, he wastes no time getting dressed. Once he’s suited up, Sel plunks down beside me to put on his skates, and I grin when I notice the same ritual from practice; he always ties his left skate first, then right, and then he pulls out a picture of his brothers and his mom, and taps it three times.

“Where’ve you been?” I whisper.

“A minor car accident.”

“An accident?” I blurt loudly, and teammates turn to stare. “Sorry. Nothing. Don’t mind me.”

Everyone ignores my outburst and goes back to getting ready. I look Sel over, but I don’t see any obvious injuries.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he explains. “It was nothing. Some guy sideswiped my car. It’s a scratch but he insisted we exchange information, and I got delayed. Of all the shit timing.”

“But you’re okay to play?”

“Of course. Like I said, it was nothing. But now I need to get on the ice more than ever. I’ve got a lot of pissed-off adrenaline to burn.”

“You and me both. I’m so fucking nervous.”

“You’ve got this, Finn. You’re ready. We’re ready.”

If Sel’s anxious about tonight, he’s hiding it well.

“I wish I had your confidence.”

“Once you get out there, things will click. You won’t think about anything but the game.”

“What about the thousands of people watching me?”

“Imagine you’re back at the college rink.”

“Does that work?”

He shrugs.

“Can’t hurt. Other than that, when you get overwhelmed, picture the crowd naked.” Sel winks and his relaxed expression reminds me of the guy I met in the summer. “Works every time.”

“Promise?”

“Yep.”