Page 20 of Rookie Attraction

I reach for my glass and take a long, slow sip.

“Show me.”

Finn pulls them up and we spend the next half hour reviewing the vids in detail, the conversation never waning.

“You were right,” he finally comments. “I definitely need to get better on the boards.”

Suddenly, my phone pings. It takes me a second to remember why.

“That’s our dinner.”

I hop up off the coach and head for the door to grab our takeout. The bag is hefty, and my mouth waters when I’m hit with the smell of smashed burgers, grilled onions, and greasy fries.

By the time I walk back to the kitchen, Finn’s grabbing plates from the cupboard and setting them on the island. I concede that it’s nice to have company. The past month has been the loneliest I’ve ever felt since leaving home for college. What’s odd is that I’ve received messages from friends like Damien that I’ve neglected to respond to. Every time I go to reply, I can’t do it. I’ve isolated myself from everyone except my family because I’m still not sure that I’ve got a handle on my new life.

I used to be self-assured, cocky, and convinced I could handle anything, do anything, including opening up about my sexuality. But I’m not feeling feisty anymore. And I’ve been naïve to think that leaving Chicago meant everything would be fine. In fact, I still feel shame that I left. Maybe I gave up too soon. Or, thinking about what was written on my old jersey and the fact that none of the guys there have reached out to me, maybe I got out of a situation that would only have gotten worse.

Back and forth, round and round. I don’t fucking know the answers and I hate it.

In any case, the friends who do reach out haven’t pushed when I don’t respond. My brothers, on the other hand, don’t let me get away with anything. If I don’t reply, they call me nonstop until I answer. Our group chat is the only thing keeping me sane at this moment.

That, and the man standing in my home.

“I was admiring your collection of photographs in the living room,” Finn comments. “The ones with your brothers, Karson and Atticus. You’re the oldest, right?”

I nod and set down the bag.

“The Kirkland trio. My mother deserves her own medal for putting up with us. She spent most of her life moderating sibling arguments, driving us to and from hockey practice, games, and tournaments, not to mention dealing with our off-ice antics.”

Finn smiles. “Karson plays for Toronto. Is this his second season there?”

“It is. He was with Tampa before that but he couldn’t stand it. He’s happier now and thriving. Atticus is busy too. He plays in the SLH.”

“Euro pro league.”

“Yep.”

I pass burgers and fries to Finn and then plate my own.

“That’s so cool,” he mumbles with a fry in his mouth. “I’m the only one in my family who plays hockey. My six siblings are only interested in football or farming. Come to think of it, no one in my extended family plays either.”

“Are they proud that you’ve made it to the NHL?”

Finn sits down on one of the stools and shoves another fry in his mouth.

“You could say that. Apparently, Dad used a megaphone at the fall county fair last week to announce it to everyone. Pretty sure half the state heard him.”

His comment makes me chuckle.

“Nice. Family support is important. They keep things real, especially when the attention goes to your head.”

“Tell me more about them. I mean, what are your brothers like?”

I sit in the seat next to Finn and take a bite of my burger. It’s tender, juicy, and seasoned to perfection. I didn’t realize I was so hungry.

“Karson’s twenty-five,” I explain between bites. “He was the quietest growing up, but not anymore, and a lot of that is due to hockey; it boosted his confidence. Kar gets along with everyone and makes friends easy. He’s generous and funny, but he also has a serious side that others rarely see. Atticus is the youngest at twenty-three, outspoken, fiercely protective, and fucking wild. He accepts any dare, and the riskier the better.”

“Are they worried about you?” Finn ask quietly as we eat.