Page 49 of Captive

Sighing dramatically, I say, “No, but a girl can dream, can’t she?”

That catches him off-guard, and all he can do is stare at me like I’ve grown a third eye right in the middle of my forehead. He really has to think about it, about what I mean, and then he blushes even more and gestures for me to leave. The man is so flustered at that that he can’t say a single word more.

How cute.

I don’t want to push my luck, so I get up, blow him a kiss, and walk out. I skip down the hall, excited beyond all belief as I replay that interaction over and over again in my head.

We’re going after Connor next. Shit, if I would’ve known it’d be this easy to get them to be on my team, so to speak, I would’ve spilled my guts a long time ago.

Nah, that’s a lie. It was hard opening up, and I only did it because Royal and Ezra didn’t give me a choice. They had their own intervention, shared their trauma, and basically forced me to share mine. In a way, I kind of owe them. Connor was out of reach before, but now? Now he’s close.

So close I can taste his sleazy self.

I thought I was riding cloud nine before, but now? Now I’m so high I’m afraid I’ll never want to come down. Not once in my life did I ever think a girl could have it all, but look at me: a team of serial killing men with the same code as me, and at least two men losing their minds over me. Is it weird to think about them like my boyfriends?

Yeah, probably super weird, but I don’t care.

Ezra is in his room with the door closed, which I take to mean I shouldn’t interrupt him, so I find Royal in the basement, working out. I practically hop to the machine he currently uses, and I wear a grin that spreads from ear to ear as I say, “Guess what.”

Royal grunts as he sets down his weights and looks at me. The muscled man is covered in sweat. His charcoal gray hair leans more on the dark side thanks to the sweat. He looks good. He looks damn good. “What?”

“Hawthorne said the Benefactor gave the go-ahead,” I tell him. “Connor is going to be D.D.K.’s next victim.”

He smirks somewhat. “Good. I’m glad you’re happy. Even better that we get to take an asshole like that off the streets. Did you tell Ezra the news yet?”

“Not yet. He’s in his room, I think. I was going to, but the door was shut, so I thought I should just leave him be.”

Running a hand through his hair, he shakes his head. “Nah. Just go in. It’s what I do. You know what he’s doing most of the time that door is closed?” A moment passes. “Sitting on his bed, staring at the ring he was going to give his girl.”

Really? Damn, that’s downright depressing.

“I think all this is dredging it up again. Out of the three of us, Ezra was always the one who hung on the tightest to the past, but… I don’t know. It’s like ever since you, he’s been worse. More quiet. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say—”

“You’d say what?”

Royal stretches his arms behind his back, then over his head. “I’d say something about you makes him feel kinda shitty.” When I gasp dramatically, he adds, “No offense. Not that it’s your fault or anything.”

“Seriously, how would I make him feel shitty?”

“For starters, all the comments you made in the beginning about stress relief. I don’t think he took them so well. As far as I know, Kaitlin was his only, and he really thought they’d spend the rest of their lives together.”

Shit. I didn’t think about that. That not once crossed my mind. I knew these guys had pain in their pasts like me, but it didn’t occur to me that Ezra’s pain still lingers in a way that mine, Royal’s, and Hawthorne’s doesn’t. When it’s a friend, it’s one thing. When it’s family, it’s another. But when it’s your significant other? That cuts deepest, I imagine.

Royal must sense my wandering, guilty thoughts, because he tells me, “Don’t worry so much about it.”

“Maybe me telling him about Connor will only make things worse.” And, it should go without saying, but I don’t want to make things worse when it comes to Ezra. I don’t want to make any of them feel worse. If anything, I want to make them feel better.

“You never know. Maybe it’ll give him something else to focus on,” he offers with a shrug, and then he gets back to his workout, leaving me with those words of wisdom.

Hmm. I don’t know if going to Ezra and telling him is a good idea or not, but there’s only one way to find out.

Chapter Twenty-One – Ezra

I sit on the edge of my bed, my leg bouncing like crazy. I just recently stopped pacing, so that’s good, but it’s like my body doesn’t want to play ball, so to speak. The small ring box sits beside me, so close, and yet so far. Everything is… hard, so much harder than it should be, and even after all this time, I don’t know how to make things easier.

It’s too much. Too much emotion. I can’t deal with this, but I have to.

Not once did I ever think I’d move on. I was young, full of rage—and if I’m honest, I’m still furious over what happened and how I wasn’t there to keep her safe—but when I was found by the others, I hoped that would be the start of a new life for me, a new purpose.