Page 80 of Such Sharp Teeth

I look over.

It’s Ian.

Shit shit shit.

“Hi,” I say, the seventh hot dog traveling down my gullet.

“Hi,” he says.

He wears a winter coat, scarf, beanie. I’m still in my joggers and the Led Zeppelin T-shirt. No coat. Sitting on my car next to a box full of hot dogs.

I’ll admit, not my finest look.

He raises an eyebrow at me, and I shrug. He laughs.

I missed the sound of his laugh.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him.

“Getting cigarettes,” he says. “Aren’t you cold? Do you want my jacket?”

“I’m not cold,” I say.

I’m aware that it’s cold out, that I should be cold. I’m not. In fact, I’m a little warm. There’s some sweat happening, a shallow puddle forming in the small of my back.

He stuffs his hands into his pockets. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Oh,” I say. “Okay.”

He nods and walks past me. I hear the door open, then close behind him.

I shove another hot dog into my mouth.

I haven’t responded to any of his calls or texts since the full moon last week, so it’s been eight days of radio silence on my end. I know I should have said something, but what, exactly? Sorry. BRB, trying to figure out if I can still date you as a bloodthirsty supernatural monster?

I guess it’s for the best if he’s mad. If he’s not interested in me anymore. It’s not like we could ever be together. I’m stuck in this body. A body that’s volatile, that’s vicious, that I can’t trust. I wake up with this truth and fall asleep with this truth. A truth he can never know.

It’s too risky to try to pull him close. Too dangerous. For both of us. He could get hurt. I could get hurt.

I know this. I know it and yet . . .

I want him.

Seeing him just now, I can’t ignore it. My feelings won’t just disappear. I want him like I’ve never wanted anything.

The door opens and I hear the clink of his Zippo, the crinkle of plastic.

He comes around the back of my car, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips. He takes it between his fingers and exhales.

“G’night, Rory.”

He’s walking away from me. He’s vanishing into the dark. All of a sudden, the hot dogs rebel inside me. I’m nauseous. I’m panicked.

“Ian!” I call out.

He turns around. “Yeah?”

“Where are you going?”