Page 17 of Highland Ruse

Kaid shrugged off her question. “A warrior isna worth his weight if he canna take a bit of hunger for a night.”

She tore her piece of ham and held out half to him. The meat was a deep, roasted pink, charred along the sides. Its briny scent made his mouth water.

“Take this,” she said. “Please.”

A part of him, a larger part than he cared to admit, wanted to snatch the hunk of meat from her palm and devour it. But, he reminded himself, Lady Elizabeth was not used to hunger. The piece she had was already too meager to see her sufficiently filled.

“I’m fine,” he answered and strode away before she could offer again. Before his resolve could crumble.

When he was far enough away from them, he drew a slender vial from the pouch at his waist. The clear liquid within rolled against the glass like a fat droplet of rain.

There was only enough left for tonight. Maybe tomorrow as well, if he was conservative with his dose.

His fingers shook at the prospect of having so little remaining.

The women were not the only ones who lost several items when the bags came loose. The bag he’d packed had spilled its contents, and the remaining vials the seer had given him had been lost. He’d looked for his stock with barely contained madness, but to no avail.

This was his last.

Perhaps he ought to try one night without it. To sleep without the blanket of valerian root to pull over his mind.

He clenched his teeth. The images would flood his mind at all attempts to sleep and keep him in wakeful horror. His muscles went tight in anticipation.

The bodies.

The empty stares.

The blood.

He pulled the stopper from the bottle. Carefully. Carefully.

His fingers were clumsy, too large for so tiny a bottle, and shaking with an overwhelming anticipation.

He touched the vial to his lips and let a slight amount of the bitter liquid wet his tongue.

He needed this. The sleep. The escape.

Kaid shoved the stopper into the vial and pushed hard to ensure it was in there deep enough to keep the contents from leaking.

“Why are you doing this?” Lady Elizabeth’s voice sounded from behind him.

He slipped the vial into the pouch at his waist before turning to face her. But it was not accusation on her face. It was sincerity.

“You and Donnan both, you seem kind. But you’re committing an egregious, heinous crime.”

His soul chilled at her delicate claim, hating the truth behind her words.

She shook her head. “I’ve been trying to think why you could possibly do this and can come up with no morally sound answer.”

A warmth started in the base of his neck and pulsed slowly through his body. The valerian root was beginning to take effect. Soon he would be numb. Soon even the burden of his guilt would be assuaged.

“There are more people at stake in this than Donnan and me.” Perhaps it was more than he should have said, but he wanted her to understand, to not judge him so harshly. Not when she was affording him her kindness.

She cast a glance behind her to where Donnan and Leasa were chatting by the glow of the fire. “If you let us go, we won’t tell anyone.” Her heavily lashed brown eyes searched his. “You’re a good man, Kaid. Please don’t do this.”

Even the numbing blanket of the valerian root could not stop the ache from spiking in his chest. “We need rest,” he said. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

She studied him for a long moment, her face blank, then finally turned away. For that he was grateful.