Page 190 of Split or Swallow
“You taught me everything else. So teach me this.”
Caspen turned to the fire, staring at it for so long that it actually began to dim. Finally, he spoke:
“You will be on top,” he said, still not looking at her, “to signify you have come to the ritual willingly.”
“The whole time?” Tem asked, her voice small.
“Yes. He will not kiss you, or touch you more than necessary.”
Tem looked up at him.
“I know I made you promise never to alter my feelings,” she said. “But will you make me calm during it?”
Caspen shook his head.
“I cannot interfere—my father will hold it against you.”
Tem nodded.
“But I will make you calm before and after,” he said. “You have my word.”
She nodded.
“Will you be watching?”
“Yes.”
The thought repulsed her.
“I’d really prefer you didn’t.”
Caspen’s jaw clenched. “Trust me, I would prefer that too. But I must, Tem. I have to make sure his hands do not stray. If they do, I will kill him.”
“Are his hands known to stray?”
By the look on his face, Tem could guess the answer.
“I’d rather you didn’t kill your own father because of me.”
“It would be because of him.”
“Still.”
The entire conversation was absurd. Tem couldn’t believe they were talking about this—that she was really going to sleep with Caspen’s father in a public auditorium. Nothing about this was normal.
“What else?” she asked.
“He values confidence. He will sense if you are afraid or if you doubt yourself.”
“I’m not afraid.”
The barest of smiles touched Caspen’s lips.
“You never are.”
They both stared at the fire.
“Is that it?” Tem asked.
