Page 75 of XOXO
I pushed away my negative thoughts as I took in the fortress again. I took a few photos before sending one to my brother.
Me: Love you and miss you, but Greece is gorgeous. You should come visit me.
I didn’t expect my brother to answer me since it was five in the morning over there.
It’s a me, Mario!: I hate you, but Maya was saying we should go out there with you now that some time has passed.
Me: Do it! Come visit me because I miss you and I’m not ready to go home.
Me: How are things over there?
It’s a me, Mario!: Do you really want to know?
Me: Yes…. no
Me: Is it still bad?
It’s a me, Mario!: Dad has stopped mentioning it. Mom is still pretending you are coming back, but Lorenzo calls me drunk still looking for you.
Me: Mom… I’m not even going to think about what she thinks is going to happen.
I meant nothing to Lorenzo. Why was he still calling?
It’s a me, Mario!: Mom is mom you know that and you left him at the altar, I think he feels like it’s personal.
Me: He's so fucking full of himself.
It’s a me, Mario!: Yeah, he still thinks I know where you are, but he’s stopped the harassment.
Guilt hit me in the solar plexus and I wanted to cry. I left Mario to deal with my leaving and I should have been a big girl and just called off the wedding.
It’s a me, Mario!: Stop with the guilt. We both know ending that wedding would have been hard and they wouldn’t have cared about your feelings. Lorenzo can’t do shit but ask where you are. We are fine.
Me: I don’t think I’ll ever stop feeling guilty.
It’s a me, Mario!: Well, go visit more places. Maybe it’s time to go to Asia.
Me: I’m getting tired of traveling and being alone, but I don’t think I’m ready to go home yet.
It’s a me, Mario!: Then just live overseas so we can have a place to visit. You don’t need to come back. You work remotely anyways or at least you can.
Matteo’s words came back to me. Living with wishes is not a way to live. You want a change, then make it happen.
Me: I’ll think about it and let you know.
It’s a me, Mario!: Do that and I’ll talk to Maya about visiting.
Me: Why are you even awake?
It’s a me, Mario!: The stomach flu has reached our home.
Me: Oh fuck, I’m sorry. Go to sleep, rest, lots of water and electrolytes! I love you. Give my love to the kids and Maya.
It’s a me, Mario!: Love you too. Have fun, Peach!
I laughed at his childhood name for me, looking around at the beautiful place I was in. A man who looked like Matteo caught my eye, but when I glanced in that direction again, he was gone. My mind was officially going crazy.
I took a few more pictures before I went back inside to finish my tour. It was a very cool place, but it was hot as hell and I desperately needed to cool off. There was a beach close by and nothing sounded better than a dip in the ocean before I decided where to eat. The boat ride back to the mainland took longer than it did coming to the fortress.
