Page 39 of XOXO

C++98 - Did you make it to your next destination ok?

I sent it before I could think twice about it.

My phone buzzed, excitement thrummed through me until I saw my best friend's name instead of a text back from Vi. I felt guilty for a second before answering the phone.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Gomdori,” he said, instantly making me relax.

I’ve missed our friendship. I've been so selfish.

“How was the reunion with your mom?” I settled back into the sofa.

“Much needed,” he said. “But I didn’t call to talk about me. I’m wondering what’s going on with you and Matteo.”

“Nothing,” I said too quickly.

The silence on the phone told me I wasn’t fooling him. Ruwon would try and get it out of me, but silence was his best weapon because I always felt the need to fill it. It was pointless to fight against him.

“Nothing is wrong with us. He’s been weird since I started dating,” I said, hating that I was putting this all on Matteo. “Over the weekend we saw the girl I went out with in Paris there and she stayed with us. Matteo wasn’t happy about it.”

Telling him about our threesome was on the tip of my tongue. Would he look at us differently? When have we never shared everything? Secrets are toxic and the one I was keeping about Matteo was killing me a little every day.

“We had a threesome too,” I said, before I chickened out.

He was silent as he usually was, but this time I almost screamed for him to say something except instead of letting him answer. I put my foot in my mouth even more.

“I don't know if it was a mistake, but it felt good to share a woman with him,” I said without stopping. “I thought things were ok, but he ran away to Milan.”

“Now his mood makes sense,” he said thoughtfully. “I thought you must have had a fight, but he didn’t seem mad.”

“Is he ok?” I wanted to know if he was feeling like I was. “I don’t know why he ran away. I thought we were having fun, but he didn't say no to the offer.”

“You need to talk to him,” he said, but it felt like a command. “I think you have a lot to talk about, but running away from each other is hurting more than helping.”

“He was the one who ran away,” I said petulantly.

“Yeah, but something is going on and I can hear it in your voices,” he said.

Ruwon was the youngest out of us, but his emotional intelligence surpassed Matteo and mine by miles.

“I don’t even know what to say,” I grumbled.

“Maybe start with I’m in love with you,” he said immediately.

“Excuse me?” I coughed, choking on my stupid spit.

“Don’t play stupid. I’ve seen the looks you’ve given him since we were fifteen,” he said like we were talking about the weather and not about my massive crush on my best friend.

“I—”

“Quit lying, this is a good thing,” he said. “I think both of you would be so much happier if you just talked about your feelings for each other with each other.”

“There are no feelings between us,” I said appalled.

“I think you’d be surprised at what you find,” he said like a wise elder instead of the baby of the group.

“I think you're mistaken,” I said quickly. “Matteo isn’t a relationship man and he never will be. Whatever you think will happen, it won’t. Matteo is just upset that his friend isn’t there for him every moment like he’s used to.”