Page 24 of Tracking Wolfe

After a few moments, I’d heard the soft crunch of Brennan’s shoes behind me as I made my way to the far end of the large oval of vehicles to where my van was parked. Earlier that afternoon, I’d noticed his own van pulling up in the large open spot a fifth wheel had left that morning. It wasn’t exactly next to my own spot, but it wasn’t far either.

“You up for a visit?” he’d asked softly just as we moved out of the fire-lit area and into the shadows.

I’d turned to look at him, his friendly, open smile and teasing eyes so clearly offering fun without strings. The sky was wide-open, covered with handfuls of glittering stars. Why in the world would I turn down the opportunity to have this man on his knees for me?

Let him remind me that I was an adult, not a child who didn’t know what the fuck I wanted.

“Yeah,” I’d said, and then I’d led him around to the far side of the van and let him slide to his knees in the dusty scrub.

It had been nice. A solid ending to a good day. About as therapeutic as my run and the few hours spent picking out chords by the fire. The kind of encounter where the wet splatter of his release on the dry desert ground would be gone by morning.

But when he’d asked if he could come inside for more, I’d politely declined. “You going to be here tomorrow?” I’d asked instead. When he’d nodded, I’d brought the topic back around to playing guitar. Something benign and neutral. Leaving the door open without stepping through it. “Maybe you can show me some of that funk picking?”

His face had relaxed into a smile. “Yeah, sure. I’d like that.”

“Me, too.”

As I fell asleep in my bed, with the dark, sparkling expanse of sky outside my windows, I thought maybe, just maybe, I’d been telling the truth.

6

TRACE

Trying to find someone who didn’t want to be found was a pain in the ass.

Thankfully, I’d found a woman at the campground in Palm Springs who remembered Wolfe asking about BLM campsites in Joshua Tree. It wasn’t much to go on, but it was better than nothing.

It only took me a few minutes of research to learn that Joshua Tree National Park had over two million acres of federal land, much of it available for free camping. The good news was that boondocking—or off-grid camping—presented challenges for water, electrical, and sewer services, which usually limited a camper’s stay.

By the time I got closer to Joshua Tree, I had to find a hotel room and regroup. Trying to find a random van on two million acres of land required brains, not driving around in literal circles in hopes of spotting one van out of hundreds.

As soon as I scarfed down a sandwich and showered, I pulled out my laptop and got to work. The first thing I did was scroll Instagram for any recent hashtags related to Joshua Tree and boondocking.

It took two hours before I found something. An account called @SkoolieBesties had posted photos of a campfire in front of an old school bus painted in bright colors. Sitting next to her was someone in a soft leather jacket I recognized. It had been mine when I’d gone through a ridiculous motorcycle phase. All it had taken was one dicey incident on the road to make me give up the bike. And when a fifteen-year-old Wolfe had been scared and alone in San Ysidro after a school trip gone wrong, I’d thrown it over his shoulders in an attempt to stop the shaking.

In the @SkoolieBesties Instagram photo, Wolfe’s hand was curled over the frets of a guitar, pressing the strings, his fingers long and slender but rougher than I’d remembered.

My chest squeezed in relief as I searched for the date of the post. Four weeks ago. There were several hashtags in the caption. #NewFriends #JoshuaTree #SkoolieLife #CampfireSongs and #WishMeLuck.

I clicked through her feed until I saw a more recent post with Wolfe from closer to three weeks ago. It was a short video clip of Wolfe playing guitar and laughing with a good-looking guy around his age. This one was tagged #Kaibab #CampfireSongs #SkoolieLife and #FavoriteWayToEndADay.

Wolfe looked relaxed and happy. I couldn’t help but wonder who the guy was and how well they knew each other. Had he met someone? Started something with him?

@SkoolieBesties didn’t have any more photos of Wolfe in her feed, so I clicked over to the other account tagged in the video, @VotoBren.

The good-looking guy turned out to be Brennan Voto, who had a shockingly large following. I clicked through his feed until I found a more recent post with Wolfe from only an hour ago. It was a short video clip of Wolfe and a teenage girl playing guitar together on a small wooden stage. It looked like it was in a dive bar or maybe a small-town pizza place. This one was tagged #Hush #JakesPlace #VanLife and #BGShay.

My stomach dropped. Had Wolfe been traveling with this guy for three weeks? What did that mean? Were they together? Was this guy the reason Wolfe had run off?

I quickly talked myself off that cliff. If he’d had this guy waiting for him, he wouldn’t have kissed me like that back in Legacy. Wolfe was as loyal as they came, and I couldn’t imagine him cheating on someone. But… they could be open.

My fingers tapped and scrolled quickly to see @VotoBren’s other pictures. He had a few of Wolfe, and I traced them back before realizing they were giving me a kind of timeline of Wolfe’s trip.

I continued following hashtags and other tagged accounts until I had a map with dates. Palm Springs. Joshua Tree. Kaibab National Forest. Grand Canyon. Zion. Arches. Moab. He’d moved around with some of the same people, visiting different areas. And the last place he’d been spotted was a town in Colorado I’d never heard of called Hush.

He’d only been there for a day or two. One of @VotoBren’s posts had mentioned the sheer beauty of the area, the lack of light pollution, which made for starry nights, and the good food and company to be had at a bar called Jake’s Place. Hopefully, it was the kind of town Wolfe wanted to stay in for a little longer.

I found several video posts tagged with Jake’s Place, featuring the same teenager from the guitar video with Wolfe, only this time playing onstage alone in what looked less like a casual interaction and more like an actual performance. At the edge of the video, I caught a glimpse of Wolfe with an encouraging, proud look on his face.