Page 74 of Reforming the Rakish Marquess

He narrowed his eyes at her with a knowing look. “Jude wrote to me. He said he had estate business to deal with and wasn’t sure when he would return to town.”

“Well, I’m sure all is well, then.” She did her best to get the words out through gritted teeth.

Matt glanced at her but didn’t comment on her response.

“I do hope you have an enjoyable time visiting with Evan and Marina, and that you rejoin the season soon,” Matt said, rising from his seat. “Glad to hear you are feeling better.”

“Thank you, Matt.”

He bowed over her hand.

“Safe travels, Juliana.” He smiled at her, in a manner that she feared he might know more than he let on, and departed the room.

She released an audible sigh. Hopefully, whatever Matt suspected or believed he knew, he would leave well enough alone.

Rising herself, she started towards her chamber. She must prepare to depart before Marina showed up at her door. Her friend would help her sort everything out so she might determine what her future would hold and move past her broken heart over a certain rakish marquess.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Norfolk, England

1 week later

Jude returned from his morning ride, hopping down from his horse and handing over the reins to the groom who awaited him. Since he returned to the country, his morning rides had become vital for him to clear his head from the fitful sleep he had each night.

For so many years, he had longed to rid himself of the nightmares of his childhood. He finally succeeded, but he was met with a new kind of torture. One that he found to be even worse. Juliana visited him in his dreams every night, heartbroken. He always attempted to comfort her and apologize, but she disappeared, and he’d wake up even more miserable than before. If he did manage to fall back asleep, it would only happen all over again.

Carter began making him a tea concoction before bed to aid him in sleep. It helped, but not enough. He saw the pity in Carter’s eyes, which only made him more irritated, but at least for once, his valet kept his opinions to himself. Jude couldn’t deny that he was grateful for such a small favor. The pain and memories would eventually pass. Wasn’t time supposed to heal all wounds or some sort of nonsense?

For the time being, his morning rides allowed him to clear his mind from his poor sleep and enabled him to face the day so he could put on a cheerful face for Rose. She was such a happy, delightful little girl, and she needed him to be such for her. She was the ray of sunshine in his otherwise never-ending storm. If it weren’t for her, he would have already been driven mad for certain. In her presence he drew as much of her light as he could to give himself enough strength to carry on for another day.

Jude entered the house, and came upon Rose and Mrs. Jones waiting for him. Rose ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his legs. He picked her up and cuddled her in his arms. “Good morning, poppet. Did you break your fast?”

“Yes, Papa.” She wrapped her arms around his neck.

Terror from becoming a parent had gripped him more than he cared to admit when he first learnt about his daughter. He still had moments of doubt every day about whether he was doing the right things for her. Jude never had an example of good parenting to model, but he had adored his nanny as a boy. The genuine kindness and patience displayed by Mrs. Jones warmed his heart, solidifying his approval of her care for Rose.

She hadn’t asked about her mother again, which Jude was secretly thankful for. He didn’t wish for Rose to forget her, but she was too young to understand. Just yesterday, he wrote everything he could recall about Ann and asked Mrs. Jones to do the same. He tucked the notes away to give to Rose when she was older and could better comprehend the loss. He would have appreciated to have had the very thing done for him so he might know his own mother better.

“What do you and Nanny have planned for today?” he asked.

“Reading a book,” she said, smiling at Mrs. Jones.

Jude set her down on her feet. “Well, run along and be a sweet girl. I shall come and check on you after a while.”

Rose grabbed her nanny’s hand and let her lead them both upstairs towards the nursery. He just shook his head and smiled. It had only been a week, but they were all settling into a bit of normalcy living in the country. His daughter seemed happy, and that was what mattered most at present.

Juliana’s face crossed Jude’s thoughts, as she did throughout the day every day, and his heart pained in his chest. He pushed down his anguish and retired to his study to tend to his correspondence.

As soon as he had arrived back at his estate, Jude sent Matt and Hudson letters. He didn’t want them looking for him at events. He kept his reasoning vague and assumed Hudson wouldn’t ask questions, but Matt would. He had specifically asked Matt to keep an eye on Juliana and offer her aid if needed with Viscount Gordon.

When he reached his office, there was a bundle of letters on his desk that were mailed to his London townhouse, and Abbott had sent to him to his Sandonshire Estate in Norfolk. The letter on the top was from Evan.

He opened it and noted it was dated a week ago. It must have arrived not long after he had departed for the country. Reading the missive, he learnt that Evan’s baby boy had been born, and that mother and babe were both healthy and doing well.

Jude hadn’t told anyone about his daughter just yet. He needed the time to adjust to the dramatic change in his life and ensure that Rose transitioned well to being in his care. He was already so overprotective that he had her seen by the doctor once they arrived in the country to ensure she was in good health.

Perhaps he would first share his news with Evan. As his closest friend, Evan hopefully wouldn’t end their friendship over the matter. Many in the ton would do exactly that for fear of what the association with scandal would do to their own standing in society. But Evan was the type of person who was willing to help his wife go on the run or would have faced the scandal of marrying her at Gretna Green. Thankfully, neither scenario had been necessary.