Page 47 of Under Rusted Stars

“Your kindness,” she tells me. “Mr. Jensen, I can’t imagine any of this is easy. And I know it’s like you’re fighting against demons that are constantly pissing you off. You don’t know what’s real and what’s not. The alcohol kept the worst of it away.”

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “They gave me some medicine to help me not be so angry. They said I couldn’t drink with it, so I had to stop.”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Olivia says. “You get that surgery and stay sober; you have my forgiveness.”

Dad looks at Olivia, and I can tell he’s lost in thought. “Alright,” he says.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Yeah. I’ll get the damn surgery,” he sighs.

“What if…” Olivia starts to say to me.

“Hmm?”

“What if we move him into the cabin?” she asks. “He’s going to need a lot of help after the surgery. It’s cleaner and safer. He doesn’t have to worry about the crackheads yelling at all hours of the night. Less temptation. And it’s really fucking pretty out there.”

“I ain’t no charity case,” Dad barks.

“Good, because you’ll work for it,” I say, and he raises an eyebrow. “You take care of yourself, stay sober, and you get what you need. Sobriety is a lot of fucking work, Dad. Putting effort into keeping yourself as healthy as you can is a lot of fucking work. You’ve spent how long neglecting yourself?”

“You ain’t gonna let this go, are you?” Dad asks me.

“Honestly, Dad… If Olivia can see the good in you after what you did to her, I can, too,” I tell him. “I’m getting too old to be stuck in the past.”

“It’s all downhill from here, son,” he chuckles. “I’m gonna eat and catch a nap. You two go on somewhere else.”

“Alright, Dad,” I say. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grunts.

Olivia and I walk outside and get into the truck. I stare at the house for a while, and she just watches me. “I’m sorry,” she says.

“For what?” I ask, turning to look at her.

“I’m sorry he’s sick,” she says. “It stole everything from him, and he didn’t even know…”

“I can’t imagine… The man in there is not the man I grew up with,” I tell her.

“No, but he’s on medication to help him. He’s going to get the surgery. If he lives, he gets a second chance,” she says.

“Let’s see if he makes it through surgery,” I mutter.

Chapter Fifteen

Olivia

Three Weeks Later

Bodhi and I have spent the last six weeks bonding. After the first night after my procedure, nothing happened beyond kissing. It was kind of unspoken in a way, but it didn’t change how we interacted. It’s like we determined that we were physically compatible, so now we wanted to work on everything else. Obviously I wasn’t able to do anything, but even so, things lined up perfectly.

Our entire relationship is based on trauma. His childhood trauma. My childhood trauma. Trauma with Jason. Trauma with Miguel. Then we have the fact that he hated my very existence. I think subconsciously it was just a lot to unpack, so this period of time has allowed us to come together as adults.

It’s like we recognize that we knew each other prior, but we also recognize that we are different people now. This is almost like a second chance for us, so we have been treating it as though we just met. Obviously, people don’t move in together right as they meet, but still. New life. New chances. New everything.

I am unequivocally in love with this man. I haven’t said it, and I don’t know when I will. I don’t know if he feels the same way, but I do know it’s true. It’s as though my soul has finally found its home in him. He is incredibly patient with me and my triggers. I’ve weird habits that I still have not broken months later, but I’m getting there. The nightmares are few and far between now. Either that or he’s not telling me about them, or he simply doesn’t wake up to them anymore.

Jason was sentenced to life in prison, but I fully expect him to end up being murdered there. He did nothing to protect Miguel, and we all know that won’t go well. I also know that eventually, Miguel will come for me. He is in the wind right now, but he will show up again. I know it.