Page 42 of Under Rusted Stars

“Got it,” Kate says. She adjusts the blanket, and I squeeze my eyes shut. “Liv?”

“Yes, Kate?” I sigh.

“Can I look at your vagina?” she asks. I open my eyes, and she grins at me. “Please?”

“You’re a freak,” I say. “That’s fine.”

Kate walks around to stand next to Bodhi. Her eyes go wide, and she looks up at me. “Goddamn, girl. That has to be so painful.”

“Yeah,” I say. “It was easy to ignore for a while.”

“I’m going to call you in some antibiotics because this is looking pretty bad,” Bodhi tells me as he carefully does the swabs. “I wouldn’t usually cut open something potentially infected, but you are risking rupturing it, and that might make it far worse.”

“Whatever makes it go away,” I mutter.

“You’ll feel me touch for the gel,” he says. I take long, deep breaths as he numbs the spots he is going to numb me. He warns me of a pinch, but I hardly feel it as he injects me in various spots. “Alright, Liv. I’m going to make the cut. You might feel some tugging and pressure, but you should not feel pain. If you do, tell me right away.”

“Okay…”

Kate holds my hand but watches Bodhi. As cool as she finds this, she is also being protective right now.

I can feel the pressure of the cut, but then it disappears. I focus on taking long, deep breaths while he does whatever he is doing. He has Kate open something in a specific way for him, but I don’t pay attention. I just stare at a spot on the ceiling and don’t take my eyes off it.

The minutes tick by, and I stay calm. Bodhi sits on a stool at some point, so I assume he is doing stitches. When he stands again, he starts cleaning up the area. I am covered with the blanket by one of them, but I still just stay dazed.

My adrenaline is crashing, and I just want to sleep.

“Alright. Let’s get you up,” Bodhi says. I cooperate with them as they help me stand. I am still numb, but I am careful as they help me get clothes on. When I am decent again, Luke and Rhett come in. Luke doesn’t say a word; he just hugs me.

Luke has always been like my brother, and this is exactly what I need right now. I need to be surrounded by the people I know care about me. Rhett hugs me next before Kate does. I suspect they all know that Bodhi is about to steal me away for a while so I can relax and find some peace.

I still haven’t said a word when we get into the truck, but he just holds my hand as we drive through town. Back at the house, I notice cars at the cabin. I look at Bodhi, and he smiles.

“Daisy hired some people to clean up and pack your stuff,” Bodhi says. “I told her you were staying with me after some pretty bad people came after you. I tried offering to pay for the damages, but I thought she’d hit me if I asked again.”

“Bless her heart,” I say, smiling. “You really want me, Bodhi?”

“I really do, Olivia,” he says, kissing the back of my hand.

“Let’s go inside then,” I say. “I think the numbing is wearing off.”

“Yeah, I have some pain meds for you. That should let you sleep at least,” he says.

“That sounds marvelous.”

Bodhi walks around the truck and helps me out before he carefully walks inside. By the time we get to the front door, I am crying in pain. It’s mostly a release of emotional pain from the years of abuse. We get back to the bedroom, and Bodhi makes quick work of getting me undressed and into one of his shirts and boxers before he lays me in bed. I take a pain pill and relax in bed as I watch him undress. He looks stressed the fuck out, and I want to help him.

“Bodhi,” I say.

“Yes, ma’am?” he asks, taking his jeans off so he is just in boxers. He has his pajama pants in his hand, but stops and looks at me.

“Are you stressed?” I ask.

“Honestly, yes, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he says. “Why?”

“Can I… Use your toy on you?” I ask, smiling brightly. “I am comfy in bed. I just have to hold it, right?”

“You should rest,” he says, sitting on the bed next to me.