Page 39 of Under Rusted Stars

“Goes to credibility,” Jason says.

“Proceed carefully, Mr. Hayes,” The judge says.

“You testified that you struggle with intimacy. Is that correct?” Jason asks me.

“But you are currently involved with another man, are you not?”

“Objection. Relevance,” Amy says.

“Your Honor, it directly relates to damages and emotional distress.”

“Limited scope. Move on quickly,” Judge Henderson says, making Jason smirk at me.

“Who is this man you are involved with?”

“Bodhi Jensen,” I say quietly.

“How long after leaving me did you begin seeing Mr. Jensen?” Jason asks.

“Months,” I say. “Only recently.”

“And it is the man sitting behind the prosecution desk, glaring at me right now?”

“Yes…”

Jason clasps his hands behind his back. “So, despite your claims of severe trauma, you were able to move on with another man you found attractive?”

“That’s not what I said,” I say, heat flooding my face.

“But you did sleep with him.”

“Objection!” Amy shouts, slamming her hand down on the table in front of him. Jason ignores her anyway.

“Did you cry after sleeping with him, too, or is it only rape when you regret it after?” Jason asks, and the question hits me so hard that I physically cannot breathe. Amy is shouting, the judge is yelling at the gallery, but all I can hear is Jason. His accusations. His humiliation. I can’t look up at him because it’s like I am back in that house with him again. The courtroom vanishes. Suddenly, I can smell bourbon and expensive cologne. I can hear the marble cracking beneath my knees in our bathroom in Dallas. Jason is standing over me. “Nobody will ever want you after me,” he says, or maybe the memory of him does. My chest locks so painfully that I think I might die right there on the witness stand.

“No further questions,” Jason says coolly before returning to his seat.

Amy is beside me immediately. “Olivia,” she says softly. “Look at me… Take a breath.”

My chest jerks painfully before air finally rushes back into my lungs. She hands me a bottle of water, and I carefully take a sip. My hands are shaking so badly that I nearly spill it on myself.

“Redirect, Your Honor,” Amy says, and the judge nods. “Olivia, why do victims sometimes remain with their partners, despite wanting to leave?”

“Because they are afraid.”

“And why do you believe your abuse has affected how you handle intimacy?”

“Because it changed how I see myself,” I answer.

“Do you think being a victim of severe domestic violence, sexual abuse, and human trafficking makes you incapable of recognizing kindness in a person?”

“No,” I say.

“You mentioned reconnecting with childhood friends. Did those relationships help you better understand the abuse you experienced during your marriage with Mr. Hayes?”

“Yes.”

“How so?”