Page 74 of Client from Hell

“She got a show of my forms through the shroud at the courthouse, and then the bickering got her punted to doing practice at being an attorney. One of her mentors was trying to sink her because he doesn’t like women. She was stressed, and she has too good of a nature to hurt anyone. As I’m the Devil, I was a safe target. I mean, it’s not really an act of evil if she’s targeting me. And yes, I verified she deliberately made sure your fish were safe.”

“I’m adopting you,” Darlene informed me. “Jonas, you’re marrying her. That’s final. And you’re off the hook for the house, because that’s a damned good reason to take a few swipes at Lucy, in my not-so-humble opinion.”

“Darlene,” Jonas complained.

“What? The instant you thought I was going to sink my claws into your woman, you whipped your wings out and sheltered her. You’re a goner. She’s infected, so she’s a goner, too. It’s inevitable. Go ahead and fight it. Claim you’re just bed buddies. I’ll be there, planning your wedding and waiting for you to accept I’m right.”

Jonas bowed his head, and his breath tickled my scalp. “I can purge the virus at any time, Darlene.”

“And you wouldn’t hurt her like that without a damned good reason. Now, if you got caught by this operation and you thought purging the virus would protect her, you’d absolutely purge the virus, and the instant you got loose, or your self-rescuing princess rescues you, you’d follow her around begging for forgiveness.”

While my virus had been vocal about some elements of life, especially when it came to Jonas, she stilled at Darlene’s words. “You have my virus’s attention.”

“See? Her virus is as smart as she is. You’re an asshole, but you’re not that much of an asshole, Jonas. Sandra, do whatever you want to my brother, just leave him alive when you’re done with him.”

I gaped at the succubus. “Just leave him alive? Shouldn’t the bar be higher than that?”

“Hell no. He’s an annoying jackass. Now, playtime is over. We have some vampires to save and animal abusers to eviscerate. And breakfast. We can’t discuss eviscerations on empty stomachs.”

“I was going to teleport us away to somewhere safer, but Lucifer is truly a being of evil,” Jonas muttered.

The Devil chuckled, wrapped his arm around Jonas’s neck, and tugged until the incubus released me. “I truly am. Just be glad I’m interested in your happiness rather than your misery.”

Darlene took hold of my arm and dragged me down the hall. “Don’t mind them. Lucy adores Jonas, and Jonas is too shy to admit he adores Lucy. You’ll get used to it. Just look on the bright side. When Lucy is like this, it never ends well for those who have stirred his ire. Those animal abusing assholes will pay.”

That was a cause I could get behind. Rather than continue being dragged, I linked my arm with Darlene and matched her stride. “Yes, they will.”