Page 73 of Client from Hell

“For fuck’s sake, Jonas. It’s not a punishment if I like it.”

The incubus snickered.

Against my better judgement, I wore a tight pencil skirt, a pale blouse, and a jacket along with a pair of heels. The jacket hid my healing cuts, and the rest of the outfit convinced me I had some hope in hell of looking professional once I earned my JD and could pursue cases in court. The skirt’s length, scandalous in my opinion, kept my bed buddy’s attention—and encouraged him to follow me around for a better view.

“You’re something else, Jonas.” It amused me our arrangement had somehow involved him being shoved into my company, something my virus found to her liking. I enjoyed it, too.

The incubus had gotten under my skin, and I wasn’t sure what I thought about that.

“I should have encouraged you to wear slacks. The Chicago vampires team up with sex demons, and they’re all going to want to experience you in that outfit. I don’t share.” Unlike humans, incubi could purr, and Jonas announced his general contentedness with the situation with a deep rumble. “I’m going to have to protect your innocence.”

“I don’t think that word means what you think it means, Jonas.”

“Which word? Protect?”

“Innocence.”

“You’re plenty innocent.”

“Sure, once upon a time, I may have been innocent. That was before you got your filthy hands on me,” I muttered, shaking my head. “Is this really hell?” Hell had really nice, elegant decor, and I’d seen several paintings on the ceiling I wanted to spend many hours admiring. “This isn’t giving me the lava field and hellfire vibe.”

“Lucifer typically keeps the lava fields and hellfire outside, as he is, in his words, spoiled and requires his luxuries.”

“I am,” the Devil announced behind me.

Howling curses, I spun around to glare at the bastard. “Will you stop doing that?”

“No. I refuse. I see you listened to my darling’s ultimatum about getting out of bed. In a way, I’m disappointed.” Lucifer closed the distance between us and took hold of a lock of my hair, twirling the strands between his fingers. “If you want it styled, talk to Darlene. She loves cutting hair, and she’s quite good at it. She can also do those fancy hairstyles women often like.”

Jonas sighed.

The Devil smirked. “Don’t get cranky, Jonas. Your sister would sink her claws into my ass after she was done with yours if I even thought about flirting with your woman. You’ll need to behave. I know Ernesto keeps incubi and succubi around, but they never bother bonded pairs, so it’ll be fine. Considering the circumstances, they won’t even test you. Now, some of the succubi might cuddle up to your woman, but that’s what they do.”

“Amy’s going to be there, isn’t she?”

“Probably. Sandra, Jonas does have a history with Amy, a succubus associated with Ernesto’s brood, so expect her to be friendly with him. She’s not going to try anything with him, but that one doesn’t quit displaying gratitude for at least a thousand years.”

“Was she one of his therapy jobs?” I asked.

Lucifer nodded. “Shortly after his conversion, she had a bad run; she’d been stolen from Ernesto, and I helped rescue her. She needed a few weeks with Jonas to recover, but after she wasn’t at risk of hurting somebody, she went back home.”

Heaving another sigh, Jonas bowed his head. “She’s going to hug me every damned minute we’re there.”

“She will, and you’ll tolerate it, as will Sandra. I’ll take care of establishing you’re taken, so she’ll behave. Anyway, this meeting is going to be a problem. He has a long list of missing people who vanished the same time as his vampire we recovered from the lab. One of the vampires is his brother. His brother is still alive; he’s part of the Saven brood, so Ernesto would know, but he’s worried—and rightfully so. We’re going to spend our wait before the meeting making a game plan. Sandra, I’m going to need you to take notes and try to make a sensible game plan. Jonas, I want you to play the villain and try to figure out what they’re going to do. I might be the Devil, but this goes against my nature.”

“Where it doesn’t go against mine,” the incubus said, his tone subdued.

“Precisely. Sandra, I want you to make suggestions, too. You’re obviously skilled at planning illegal activities, so if you can think outside your ethics box, maybe you can think of something we’ll miss.”

“Burn down a house once, and suddenly I’m a criminal mastermind!”

“Wait, you burned the house down?” Darlene asked, once again from behind me.

“Why do you teleporting bastards come up behind me?” Before I could spin, Jonas caught me in his arms and pulled me to him. He even manifested his wings, and I questioned the magic that kept his suit intact. Much like some vampire from a movie, he covered me with his wings.

The Devil chuckled, reached over, and ruffled Jonas’s hair. “Sandra, he’s wearing one of my suits, which has several tricks sewn into the hem to account for shapeshifting and wings. He’s just being protective, and he knows his sister won’t damage his wings on purpose. Darlene, she absolutely did burn the house down, and you’re going to have to break your brother. He absolutely must marry this woman. Otherwise, we’re adopting her.”

“We can adopt her and he can marry her. This is not an either or situation,” Darlene said. Like me, she’d gone the business apparel route, and she’d hidden her wings and most of her fur, although her ears and tail remained. “What did you do to upset Sandra enough she burned our house down?”