Page 69 of Client from Hell

I suspected Lucifer lived to confuse me. “Okay, I’m lost. Why is it important for vampires to have their souls back?” I’d heard about the soulless state of vampires as a consequence of Wishing Well’s activities, but I hadn’t heard any rumors about vampires being able to get their souls back.

“At current, there are two vampires who have their original souls. One is a fluke, and the other was redeemed by one of the facets of death. The fluke is the result I’m looking to cultivate—a vampire created without a soul needing to be imprisoned. Vampires break the balance, and in order to keep the End of Days from continuing to encroach on this era, they have to be brought back into balance. One body, one soul. Not one body, two souls, or two bodies fighting over a single soul. One body, one soul. The Chicago brood has one body and one soul, but the souls are scrambled, and this classifies as two bodies fighting over a single soul. The souls switched bodies, essentially held hostage. As the bodies are in close proximity to each other, the original soul is still linked to the original body. For example, let’s say you, Diana, and Darian are vampires. Your soul would be in Darian’s body, Darian’s soul would be in Diana’s, and Diana’s soul would be in your body. You’re scrambled. But, as you, Darian, and Diana tend to be in somewhat close proximity, your soul in Darian’s body is still guiding your psyche although Diana’s soul is what is keeping your body actually animated. Your original soul would be fighting with the soul inhabiting your body. That’s what’s happening in Chicago’s brood, except there’s a catch.”

While I expected my question would lead to even more confusion, I asked, “What’s the catch?”

“The souls are beginning to shift back towards their original bodies. One day, they’ll all be in close proximity, and the whole lot of them will have their souls snap back to where they belong. They’ll still be vampires and require blood, because that part of their magic cannot be cured, but they’ll no longer be considered soulless entities. Standard vampires are incapable of things like love. They’re creatures of greed and ambition, preying off humans and other animals. Truth be told, the Chicago brood regained that part of their soul long ago, through the intervention of some caretakers. It’s a taught trait for them, not a natural one, as it is with humans with intact souls. But, they’re still missing that vital part of themselves. Once that changes, the cursed vampires will likewise be able to return to the balanced state. The cursed vampires have two souls—one soul that’s imprisoned, and the vampiric soul, which has taken over the body. That was the universe’s punishment for attempting to gain immortality.”

“And I’m still lost,” I announced, and I slapped my hand to the stack of papers I’d been reading. “How is that relevant to this?”

“Vampires enjoy turning victims to give themselves amusement for a long period of time. Should the Chicago brood become involved, they’ll lose their opportunity to get their souls back, which will ultimately ensure the vampires remain cursed—and add to the risk of the End of Days. So, this is just yet another problem this operation has created with their foolishness.”

“Is that why you’ve been so overworked? This group has created so many consequences that you’re trying to mitigate them all and can’t keep up?”

Lucifer took hold of my wrist, lifted my hand from the stack of papers, and began flipping through the sheets. “Precisely.”

“And they want the End of Days?”

“I don’t know. I suspect they just want to control life itself, which is a violation of the universal rules. There are restrictions on how we can meddle with and change souls, and the balance must be maintained. I suspect He has made you similar to how he made Diana; she is a being with a rather diverse soul. She can manipulate holy fire and hellfire, and she is a rather balanced being. Darian is becoming balanced like her as she converts him. I’m not sure what you are. Your soul is still in flux. And if I look too closely at it, I might discover what you are, and that would ruin the fun.” Lucifer pulled out a page and handed it to me. “This is the lead vampire of Chicago.”

I checked the page to discover a biography of a man named Ernesto Saven. He was listed as a major crime lord who ruled over a rather sizable chunk of Chicago. “This guy is in the big leagues?”

“Yeah, he’s a heavy hitter in the crime world. The vampire you saw being dissected is one of Saven’s prized children, turned shortly after the first surge of magic in this era calmed down. Saven knows his child was killed, as he’s bound to all he creates. I claimed the body, and I’ll have some of the fucking assholes put him back together and record the damage. That will give me enough time to make a deal with him, or so I hope. The vampires can be moody, and he likely grieves. I can make arrangements for the seed, however, which will give me a good bargaining chip.”

“You have the seed?” I grimaced at the thought of the vampire being told his child had gone to visit the Devil to pay for his sins.

“Surprisingly no. That’s what makes the Saven brood so damned special. That soul rests; in his life as a vampire, he balanced his sins with acts of good. I can claim a resting soul as needed. I’ll clear it with my father first, so He can maintain the balance as needed. Don’t get the wrong idea about the Saven brood. They’re vampires, yes, but the good they do generally far outweighs their evil. They’re good allies, and while they break mortal law, they break the mold of what it is to be a vampire.” Taking back the page, Lucifer sorted through the information, pulling out a few more sheets. “They do have information on the otter shapeshifter, but they have noted he’s a shapeshifter and unsuitable for their research—for now. There is a note to continue investigations. Was this part of the data you overwrote?”

“Yes. I printed everything before I overwrote the files. I think I used some medical research on anemia or something like that. Honestly, I couldn’t figure out what it said and figured it looked scientific enough to confuse somebody looking at the files. Then I copy-pasted in a classic. I wanted the files to look robust enough. I don’t know if they had any backups, though. I didn’t stick around to find out, I just went for the one computer they’d left unlocked.”

“Fucking morons,” the Devil muttered, setting the sheets he’d dug out aside. “I’m going to take you to my office in Athens so you can make some calls and start getting to work for me. I want a meeting planned with the Chicago vampires, and I want you to ask the vampires to get a line on the whereabouts of their shapeshifter friends. When you aren’t on the phone, try to make sense of this mess. I’ll need a potential list of victims, their locations, and any leads you think might be involved. In the meantime, I’ll rile Jonas up. Once you’re done the preliminary work, I’ll set Jonas loose and have Diana take care of the next phase. Set the meeting up as soon as everyone is available, and let Saven pick the location. That’ll make him feel better. Also, inquire about how they want the body dealt with. I’ll have it restored, but vampires can be touchy about laying their own to their final rest. Even if it sounds strange, make the arrangements.”

“I can do that. What should we do about the SUV?”

“I’ll scrub the serials, have new ones put in, and register it in your name. You stole it fair and square, so you get to enjoy the spoils. It looks like a decent enough vehicle, and it can go the places you won’t want to take your Lamborghini.”

I raised a brow. “Murder and theft are rewarded?”

“When you’re in my employ, absolutely. You do small amounts of evil for great amounts of good. I’m going to have to work a little harder to corrupt you, else you’ll be more suitable for His heavens rather than my hells.”

“Do you think He would allow a spicy pony with bite into His heavens?”

“That stuffy place could use a little spice,” the Devil muttered before gathering the papers. “Unlike Jonas, my teleportation packs a punch, so brace yourself.”

The Lord of Lies needed to work on his tendency to tell the truth. It took me over an hour to recover from being teleported, and even then, my stomach grumbled its complaints while I worked. As though sensing I struggled with my temptation to beat him with the fancy phone on his desk, Lucifer made himself scarce.

When I could last five minutes without cursing someone or being tempted to flee for the bathroom, I grabbed the list of things the Devil wanted me to finish, with calling Ernesto Saven taking the top spot, ordered by importance. Grabbing the phone from its cradle, I tapped in the vampire’s number, which was marked as being his cell phone.

“It’s unusual for you to call me directly, Lucifer,” a man answered.

“My name is Sandra, and I’m calling on Lucifer’s behalf. He’s currently occupied keeping his wife’s brother contained. I was asked to contact you regarding one of your vampires.”

The vampire sighed. “Which one?”

I checked the sheet to make sure I had the poor vampire’s name correct. “Greg Westfield. Lucifer has recovered his body and wanted to know your wishes for your child.”

The vampire sucked in a breath, which intrigued me, as I hadn’t known vampires breathed. “You found him?”

“Yes. His body was recovered from a lab. Lucifer found information in the lab regarding some of your associates, and he would like to schedule a meeting with you in order to discuss the matter. He also asked me to make sure you kept a close track on your otter and badger, as they have drawn unwanted attention.”