Page 13 of Client from Hell

“It’s a piece of shit, but Lucifer had it and he wanted you to have access to a phone immediately, so we’ll replace it with something better. Once you’re out of the hospital, I’ll take you to a store to pick a phone you like.” Diana rummaged through the briefcase, pulling out several papers, which she tucked under her arm. “I’ll leave this with you. The initial agreement is in here, so you can review it. My number is also in here, so call me with any questions. If you’re ready to sign based on that, give me a ring, and I’ll make sure the new version Lucifer has drawn up exceeds that, and I’ll send someone over so you can review and sign. I’m going to make sure those two don’t wreck the entire hospital, as neither have any self-restraint this week.”

At a lack of anything else to say, I replied, “Thank you, Diana.”

“You’re welcome. Rest as much as you can, and try not to worry too much over this. Despite appearances, Lucifer is a good employer. He’s just a little crazy sometimes.”

“A little? Sometimes?”

Diana laughed. “At least it’s a good crazy.”

“If you say so.”

Four

The Devil, as always, was in the details.

Several hours after the Devil and his entourage left, the nurses came armed with fresh bags of blood and a determination to get me out of their hospital sooner than later. As I couldn’t do much during the four hours it took to pump the new blood into me, I made use of my free hand to go over the internship documents Diana had left with me. At first glance, the paperwork promised a good future, one where I’d exit the internship with my JD and any additional education I might desire along with an opportunity to continue working for my hellish client.

The Devil, as always, was in the details. Travel expenses would be paid through a credit or debit card issued in my name drawing from his accounts, all future medical bills would be paid along with lodging, travel expenses, any technology I needed to complete my work, and business-appropriate attire would be provided. To cap it all off, I’d be paid thirty dollars an hour, which fell in line with what an entry-level attorney would make with a firm.

The entry-level attorneys also needed to worry about paying their rent, buying clothes, and the million other little things that chipped away at a paycheck and left little behind in their wake.

I could work with thirty an hour with a chunk going to taxes and the rest paying off the debt the Devil wasn’t covering.

Living debt-free and able to give back to my parents counted as my top priority, and I’d save the fancy new car, a gaming computer, and all the little things that made life fun for after I covered the things that mattered most to me.

However, following Diana’s suggestion I should take the Devil for all he was worth, I planned to request forty an hour, justifying it through taking away from my schooling time, a minimum requirement to get a master’s degree in something, which would be negotiable, the option to pursue a doctorate if desired, and the Devil had to provide the vehicle if I needed to have one, otherwise all transportation would be his problem, along with his other baseline offerings.

Then, as I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life working, I requested three weeks of vacation a year with future increases of vacation time to be negotiated but mandatory, depending on how long I stayed in the Devil’s employ.

Three hours into the transfusion, Marie came in armed with x-rays, her clipboard, and her tablet. “How are you feeling, Sandra?”

“Hey, doc.” Careful to keep my left arm still so I wouldn’t inflict unnecessary discomfort on myself, I waved the internship offer at her. “I’m not doing too bad. How about you?”

“Not too bad myself. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

Damn it. Did I really need more bad news? “Hit me with the bad stuff, and if it’s that bad, please spike my IV line with some vodka.”

“You aren’t old enough to drink yet. Come back in after you’re twenty-one and try again,” she teased.

Interesting. The bad news couldn’t be that bad if Marie was up for cracking jokes. “Can that be my bad news for today?”

“Your bad news is that we’ll be evaluating if you can be discharged the day after tomorrow, which means you get to undergo even more tests. You dislike several of the tests.”

I disliked most of the tests the hospital kept inflicting on me, which didn’t count as bad news in my book. “What’s the bad news, then? Potential discharge is never bad news, doc.”

“The bad news is, assuming your blood pressure stabilizes and your virus levels are acceptable, you will be expected to venture into the wilds of humanity in an effort to contract illnesses, and you’ll have to return for appointments to do more tests. Those tests are covered as part of your treatments, along with any other care you require as a result of your early release.”

“I’m failing to see how this is bad news.”

“We’re expecting you to become very ill and have to be hospitalized again.”

I considered that, and I nodded. “That could be bad news. If that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?”

“According to your latest blood tests and scans, the lycanthropy virus has restored basic function to your liver and your kidneys. If your numbers continue to improve, you won’t need to undergo dialysis. The bone scans are also showing improvement.” She showed me a pair of x-rays. I recognized the one as my pre-treatment scan, which showed the cancer having done a good job of eating away at my bones. The second x-ray may as well have belonged to somebody else. “We’ve determined your pain levels were tied to the lycanthropy virus attacking and rebuilding your bones.”

“Wait. The virus attacked my bones?”

“It appears the virus viewed a layer of cells bordering all cancer sites as cancer, eliminating them before encouraging the body to restore them. What we know of the virus implies the incubation period before shapeshifting to be the virus preparing the body to handle the shifting process, which breaks down and rebuilds cells from the ground up, using magic to account for any differences in base body mass. We’re still not sure how that works, but the CDC suspects that the virus uses base caloric energy from its host to convert into mass. Those who have small animals often have higher caloric intake needs post shifting. Anyway, we suspect that was the primary source of your pain. Your pain levels will gradually improve, but it could be a process taking several months. The virus has a lot of work left to do. That leads to the more neutral news.”