Page 70 of Catnapped

“That might be wise. I’d be tempted to dump him in one of the springs to teach him to be less obnoxious—and cool his temper a little.”

“Just use the pool in the one guest bedroom. While he dries off, we will get her saddled so she can work off some of that energy on a good run. After she has run around, he can brush out her coat and shower her with affection, and our plan to rid ourselves of our child and put him in the care of a suitable being will be well underway.”

Belial nodded. “Off you go, Diana. Be careful on the steps. Token drag him, and us mean fathers will take care of the heavy work. You’re making a point, not applying for excessive exercise. You’ll get to begin your conversion conquests soon enough.”

“I don’t even know how to convert him,” I complained.

“Just keep him in your bed. It’ll just happen. The only way you can screw this up is by putting him on the couch. The more fun you have, the faster you’ll convert him.”

Well, that simplified matters. “Can you do the incubus trick?”

“Incubus trick?” Belial asked with a raised brow.

“Birth control,” I informed the devilish general in a solemn tone. “Children happen when both parents want children without reservation, not before.”

“Ah. Yes. I’ve been meddling with that brat since he was old enough to realize women were interesting—at his request. You can thank his mother for that, as she is convinced Raguel and I cruelly tricked her into having him in the first place. For the record, we had not tricked her. She is the one who opted to throw out her birth control because of the side effects. That’s not my fault.” Belial smirked. “She’s since learned she needs to ask if she wants me to function as her no-side effects birth control.”

“He hadn’t told me that.” How interesting. “I should undergo something similar. Otherwise, it’s not really fair if he’s doing all of the preventative work.”

“I’ll inquire with Darlene, and she’ll take care of it. She’s better at working with women, and she’s protective of you. For now, don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Consider it an early dowry for tolerating the brat.” Belial slapped my rump. “Get a move on, Diana. I want a house without any whining children in it. I have plans for tonight, and they do not include interruptions from whining children.”

I caught myself before I whinnied a laugh, as whinnying would notify Darian he had an equine visitor. “I’m surprised he hasn’t come up here to find out what the ruckus is about.”

“There’s a door into the summoning room. It’s soundproofed, as our wife has the attention span of a gnat when something distracting happens, like unidentified noises. It’s unlocked, so you can just push it open.”

Most believed trusting a devil led to doom, destruction, or a quick trip to hell. I’d learned early on that religion tended to get the agenda of devils and demons wrong. They served a specific role in the Devil’s many hells, and that purpose was to get rid of the souls they had. The End of Days would change that. The devils and demons I knew focused more on eating, making more demons and devils, and achieving their personal goals, which often had nothing to do with the Devil or his many hells.

Belial wanted another child, but his nature—and Raguel’s nature—barred them from acting until certain their offspring would be cared for once outside of the nest.

Devils and demons often made good parents, and I figured the rarity of opportunities to procreate factored into that.

I hesitated before descending the stairs, considering Belial with interest. “What did you do to earn Darian’s seed, anyway?”

“Oh, I expect I was played by Lucifer. He’s been watching over you for a long time, and you’re enough older than Darian to lead me to believe that Lucifer planned him just for you. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, and Lucifer does like me most of the time, so I got lucky.”

“And the second seed?”

“Lucifer has a shameful amount of remorse when he uses his favored people in his schemes, so he tries to make up for his various sins through good deeds. Or Darlene found out and made him pay penance. You can never be sure with those two.”

Raguel laughed. “Do not worry yourself about this, Diana. All that matters is we have a seed for our next child, and we would really appreciate if you could drag our first child off. Keep him busy for at least a few months. Preferably ten to twelve, as I would grieve if our first child came to an unfortunate end taunting his pregnant mother.”

“You both owe me an extra gift at Christmas for this,” I informed them, before heading down the steps to stake a claim and run away to the Devil’s home with my prize and my cat.

I cracked open the door with my nose and turned my head so I could peek inside. Darian sat in the center of a sea of panties, all mine as far as I could tell, while his mother sat in a corner, staring at the wall.

Darian’s mother sighed. “Maybe we should try the bras, too. They’re sets. Diana meticulously keeps her lingerie in sets. She’s just so… so…”

“Perfect,” Darian supplied.

Okay. The whole panty thing gave me pause, especially as he’d salvaged the busted sets from my home when Mr. Flooferson had been stolen. I spotted more than a few half-destroyed scraps of lace scattered on the floor, which meant he must have left no part of my bedroom unturned in his quest to branch into summoning magic.

“Your summoning abilities are shameful. How could I, a supreme summoner, have created such an inept child? How? Belial! Raguel! This is your fault.”

Both devil and archangel popped into being in the center of the summoning circle, and the tenderness of Belial’s smile caught me off guard. Crouching beside his son, the devil chuckled. “Darian, you’re not your mother, and you don’t have to worry about your magic not working on living beings. Your wayfinding doesn’t, either. That said, I would like to remind you that you’re working to summon a rather hungry predator, and you’ll deserve exactly what you get. Eventually. You’ll have to wait for any indulgences until later.”

“If I can summon her,” Darian grumbled, and he sighed, reaching out and swiping up panties and setting them aside to expose the floor and clean the chalk he’d been using to make his symbols. “I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.”

Hooves on stone should have made noise, but something about the rock absorbed the sound. I eyed the material with interest, scratching at it to discover not even my claws could damage it. As far as summoning circle surfaces went, I appreciated the floor.