Page 18 of Last But Not Leashed

The tiger roared, reared on his hind paws, and batted a table with his paw. It crunched beneath the force of the blow, the wooden top splintering while the metal leg bent in half. If he got a hold of me, I’d regret it for however long it took him to rip me to pieces.

I gave it five minutes at most.

Two days of patrolling the mall gave me a good idea of its layout, which might save my head from a premature removal from the rest of my body. On the other end of the food court, I had the choice of diving down the escalator or staying on the catwalk over the first floor. Jumping over the rail to the level below would be an option, if I could make some distance. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to get too far ahead of the tiger and vampire; the pair might redirect their fury to someone else.

All I wanted in life was one week that didn’t involve some sort of disaster likely to end with me being mauled, petrified, or otherwise indisposed thanks to the weird and weirder. One week without a disaster sounded like an unobtainable heaven, something reserved for those who’d done nothing but good in their lives.

As enraged lycanthropes, cantankerous centaurs, and bloodthirsty vampires weren’t uncommon, the late-night shoppers had the sense to get out of my way when I came barreling down the walkway, sparing a single breath to howl, drawing everyone’s attention to me. The wise ones retreated into the nearest stores and watched from a safe distance. Others took pictures with their phones, but I wasn’t sure if they found me or my pursuers more interesting.

Probably both.

A bright purple and blue wolf with a tiger and vampire close behind drew attention. Forget a new job. I needed an entire new life. Unless I had a change in luck, I wouldn’t have a life at all. If the pair hot on my heels didn’t tear me to pieces, I had a long list of people waiting to teach me to stay out of trouble in violent ways.

Jerome would attempt to beat self-defense skills into me. Allison would help. If Ethel joined in, I’d let them.

The rest of the pack would make popcorn and watch the mayhem.

Escaping the tiger and vampire came first. If I didn’t give them the slip after luring them away from the mall, nothing else would matter. They’d reduce me to a bloody clump of fur smeared across the ground.

I bolted towards the main hub of the mall where the catwalks narrowed and met. With a good jump, I could reach one of the other catwalks, hit the staircase down to the first floor, and head for the nearest exit.

Once outside, I could lure the pair away from civilization and run them in circles until they collapsed or the dust wore off. I bet on collapse, which led to a whole lot of problems for me. Rage would give them strength and endurance I lacked, so it was entirely possible I’d be the one to collapse first.

The fact the dust had hit them so hard and fast worried me; it meant the bat-winged blight packed a high grade, which could last for hours before wearing off. If I caught the sparkling bastard, I’d tear him apart. He wouldn’t regret his choices long, and I’d enjoy using his bones as toothpicks. I wouldn’t like having to pick bits of bat-winged blight out of my teeth for hours, but some sacrifices needed to be made for the greater good.

Just to be safe, I’d wait until I was somewhere private before shredding the bat-winged blight so I could rage in private.

Or I could marinade the fluttering bastard in neutralizer before I ripped him apart.

I liked that idea a lot.

The catwalk leading to the mall’s central hub was clogged with shoppers, forcing me to weave through them and slow down long enough to howl to catch their attention so they’d get out of my way. When I drew close, I skidded around one of the kiosks, sank my claws into the tile floor, and jumped over the glass barricade to the other side. I slammed into the railing of the neighboring catwalk, dug my hind claws into the glass, and scrambled up and over the railing.

Someone behind me screamed.

I hoped the woman screamed because I’d just jumped between two catwalks rather than because the tiger or vampire had gotten a hold of her. Bolting for the staircase, I clawed at the floor for traction, fully focusing my attention on my goal. Glass shattered and pelted me in the rump. Picking out the shards wouldn’t be my idea of a good time, but I preferred it to someone picking what was left of me out of a tiger’s claws.

Why couldn’t I have been a cheetah lycanthrope? Or a horse? A horse would’ve been acceptable, too. Honestly, I would’ve been happy with anything other than a bright purple and blue wolf with zero camouflage abilities.

“Dale?” Allison squealed.

After Allison finished shredding the tiger, she’d come after me, and I’d end up in the same damned boat headed straight to the afterlife. Since slowing down or acknowledging her would send me to the afterlife faster, I ignored my alpha, plunged down the stairs, and headed for the east wing exits, which were closest to the highway.

With my luck, I’d be the one smacked by a car running into traffic, but the alternatives left a sour taste in my mouth. Lycanthropes were durable. I’d survive.

Probably.

Lycanthropes and highways didn’t mix, and I’d feel guilty later for luring the tiger onto an obstacle course of speeding vehicles, concrete medians, asphalt, and potential death. Willfully causing an accident would likely lose me my job, but if I let the tiger and vampire run loose, there’d be carnage, and I’d lose my job anyway.

No matter what I did, I’d lose.

Diving across four lanes of traffic wouldn’t end well for somebody, but I did it anyway. With the pair nipping at my heels, my best bet was to head for the suburbs on the other side of the highway, which led into a forested state park. I ran along the shoulder until I spotted several transports barreling towards me.

I darted across, aware if I took a single misstep, I’d be splattered on the asphalt.

Crunch.

Since I wasn’t the one having a close encounter with a truck, I kept running.