Page 84 of A Reckless Indulgence

The second Lyx lunges, Tidus slams her to the ground. The wind escapes her lungs, but she tries her best to scream. Tidus catches every sound in his palm.

The boat rocks beneath them. She scratches and kicks, but he locks his other hand around her throat. Pain lances through her. Her eyes are wide and wild as Tidus’s trembles above her from the effort.

“If you won’t get me what I want…” His rough hands dig in deeper, slicing the delicate skin of her gills. “I know someone who will.”

THIRTY-FIVE

Cav

Never has Cav slept so soundly. The afternoon sun on his eyelids is enough to keep him drowsy. His muscles ache, sated and heavy. A smile flits across his lips. When he shifts, the raw skin on his chest twinges. Last night felt like a dream, but the pain is a reminder that it was real. It happened. He and Lyx have seen each other in a way unmatched by anyone else.

Groggily, he reaches out for her. The sheets beside him have no hint of Lyx’s cool body.

He cracks one eye open against the light, but he can tell there’s no sign of Lyx. Maybe she got hungry. Despite the events of last night, she can’t sustain herself on pieces of Cav alone.

With a stretch, he swings his legs over the side of the bed. Overhead, there are only two sets of footsteps. It must be later than he realized. Most of the crew will have already disembarked, so Cav needs to get a move-on. He’d rather not get stuck taking the Indulgence for maintenance when he has a week-long holiday ahead of him.

He tugs on the clothing tossed across his desk, and a scrap of parchment flutters to the ground. He crouches to retrieve it. The handwriting is unfamiliar. His fingers trace the jagged, unpracticed letters with fondness. They’re Lyx’s.

If love is real, then I have to leave.

He could float to the ceiling. Love. Does she love him? Is it possible?

Then the bubble bursts, sending him crashing back to the ground. Leave. What does that mean? Why would she go? Where would she go?

He yanks open the door and bounds up the stairs, nearly knocking Heathen over. She steadies herself on the banister. “I was starting to worry. You’re the last —”

“Where’s Lyx?” he pants. “Have you seen her?”

Heathen blinks. Cypher appears behind her. “She’s not with you?”

Cav’s stomach sinks. He hurries across the deck with Heathen calling after him. “Cav, we already swept the ship. There’s no one else on board.”

He can’t accept it. How can Lyx be gone, again? It’s like he’s reliving a nightmare where he’s always too late to change the ending.

There’s no sign of her. Of course there isn’t. He moves back to his cabin, passing Heathen and Cypher in the doorway. Heathen speaks softly. “Cav…”

“She left.” The words echo through him, hollow and heavy at once. Gods, why does she always leave him like this? Because she knows he’d try to stop her? Because she knows it would work? Why will she never let him help her?

Heathen takes the crumpled parchment from his hand and scans it. Cav’s raw skin throbs. Lyx truly has taken a piece of him, and he wants that to mean something. He knows they crossed a threshold last night. It was more than an experiment or revenge or thrill.

When Cypher takes the parchment from Heathen, Cav wants to snatch it back. “Are you happy?” It’s not her fault, he knows, but the hurt swirls inside him like steam looking for any crack to escape from. “At least you can finally take off that fucking bandana.”

Cypher scratches at the edge of the fabric. The outline of the fiery Indulgence is still imprinted in black.

Of course. For all of Cypher’s suspicion, Lyx isn’t to blame for the mark, just like he said.

He grabs the parchment and pushes past them. The deck is completely empty now, but music and chatter rise from the island below. It’s the largest port in the archipelago, bustling with shops and food and entertainment. Cav was supposed to be enjoying himself. He was supposed to be with Lyx, showing off his favorite spots and feeding her delicacies.

Now, he’s just here. Alone.

Heathen emerges from below. “I’m sorry, Cav.” She scans the crowd like she might see Lyx’s face. “We checked everyone off when they disembarked. She must have left hours ago. Maybe she’s on the island somewhere.”

Cypher lingers behind them at the hatchway. “Do you…” She shifts her weight and maintains the space between them. “Do you want help looking?” Her voice is gruff with uncertainty. “Maybe another tattoo will show up, or —”

“Don’t bother.” When Cav walks down the gangplank, it’s like wading through mud. He tries to keep his head above it. Around him, the crowd ebbs and flows and moves him along with it. Vendors shout and wave sizzling legs of meat. Music stampedes from different stalls and crashes into itself. Through it all, he searches for Lyx. He has no idea where to start, but he traverses the length of the dock and peers into every ship he passes. He retraces his steps, ducking into every shop and stand. Every flash of blue draws his eye, but it’s never Lyx, just a fluttering flag or some other creature at the edge of the crowd.

She’s nowhere to be found. He knew she wouldn’t be, but it crushes him all the same. He trudges back down the port. The Indulgence has long since pulled away, and he can just make out its sails disappearing behind the furthest island.