Page 63 of A Reckless Indulgence

She stiffens at the sight of Tidus. He looks worse than a week ago, skin both oozing and flaking when it’s ruffled by the breeze. When he catches sight of Lyx, he takes a puff of his cigarette and jerks his chin down an alleyway.

She scans the faces around her. No one pays her much mind, too busy calling to neighbors or pushing carts. Her stomach sinks. She didn’t realize she was looking for an excuse. She never enjoys her time with Tidus, but today feels nearly impossible. Still, she straightens her shoulders and ducks down the passage after him.

She weaves through garbage, sidestepping rusted cans and crates of spoiled food. Her sandal splashes through a puddle of rotten juice, and she hikes her skirt to keep from gagging. At the end of the lane, Tidus grins through his smoke and turns another corner.

Lyx grits her teeth. This isn’t about being subtle. It’s about forcing her to follow him.

She slows her pace. It’s the only control she has with Tidus, but when she rounds the corner, he doesn’t look irritable. He looks…pleased. His eyes are bright as he flicks away the butt and pushes back an errant strand of her hair. “Look at you.”

Her stomach curdles. A calm Tidus is more of a threat than anything, but at least she’s close to her song again. That tiny glow in his chest is a small comfort. Lyx tries to steady her breathing, so aware of his finger curling in her hair.

“It’s been a while, huh?” His lips turn down into a pout. “The longest I’ve been without you. I missed you.”

She bites her tongue to keep from recoiling. There’s an almost-guilty look on his face, one he only pulls out when he fears his normal tactics have gone too far. A week without contact from her must have made him nervous. He’s right; she’s never been out of his sight for that long, but she can still feel the mark from his hand on her wrist.

Bring me something, or our next conversation won’t be so pleasant.

She isn’t falling for whatever this is. Nose wrinkling, she eases back enough to slip out from his touch. “Was the piss-stained alleyway our only option?”

His hand hovers in the air before it drops. “Thought it would be good for the chaos…although, you look well-fed.”

Her mouth opens, then shuts. What is usually an echoing void in her chest is filled to the brim. Her hunger hasn’t gnawed at her in days. It’s apparent on her body, too; even under the cover of clouds, her skin sparkles.

That can’t be right. For years, she’s gotten all her feedings from Tidus, and she even doesn’t feel like she’s eaten. There’s no exhaustion or fatigue or bloating, just…buoyancy. No feeding has ever made her feel like that.

Not that it matters. Tidus is already leaning toward her again. “I know things were tense last time we spoke. You just get me so…” He trails a sharp finger down her jaw, tapping before he shakes his head. “And you know how important this is. For both of us. I need something.”

There is no apology. Whatever this act is, he’s only putting it on until she gives him what he really came for. She digs into her pocket and holds out the pearl between her fingers.

Tidus takes it from her. It’s only the size of a button, but it gleams. “A pearl?”

“Dozens of them.” Lyx’s arm drops back to her side, but she doesn’t feel lighter. “They’re hidden in Heathen’s quarters.”

Tidus grins. “Clever girl.”

It rakes up Lyx’s spine. “They’re all like that. Misshapen. Discolored.”

“Ever heard of quality control?” Tidus scoffs. Still, he keeps turning it in the light. A blemished pearl is the most valuable thing he has — besides Lyx. “What does this have to do with collecting pleasure?”

When Tidus handles the pearl, Lyx feels like she’s watching a child with something fragile, something she wants to snatch away before he ruins it. “I’m not sure. There’s a hidden room below deck. It must happen there.”

The words leave a strange feeling on her tongue. She itches to take them back, but this is what she’s supposed to do. Give Tidus what he wants, and get her song. It’s an exchange, like everything else.

Tidus rolls the pearl between his fingers before he tucks it greedily away. “See? This is exactly what we need.” He wraps a proud arm around her waist to pull her closer. “And all you needed was a little encouragement.”

Her skin crawls. She braces her palms against his chest. Depths, she’d rather be anywhere but here. Her mind reaches for an escape and fills with soot and cinnamon.

“Listen…” Tidus’s voice softens. “I know I pushed you last time, but you can’t argue with results. We’re this close to getting what we need. What you need.” She wants to pull out of his grip, but he holds her fast and tugs on the neck of his shirt. “And to show you I’m serious…”

Urchins and coral sprout through his skin. Her shell is still embedded, but the area around it is raw and angry. Warily, she leans closer, until she can see the edge of the shell has started to lift. There’s a gap between the mess of his chest and the surface of the shell, sticky with pieces of Tidus’s skin.

In the midst of it all, her song glows. It knows she’s there. It knows they’re almost at the end of it. She reaches out her hand —

But Tidus tugs his shirt back into place, grabbing Lyx’s hand in his. “It hurts like a bitch to pry it out, but I want you to know I’m serious. I mean it.” He squeezes, and she grits her teeth when his shells dig into her. “Help me finish Heathen off, and your song is free. You’re free.”

Free.

Her heart stirs. The word she’s dreamed of for years is finally within her grasp, but it doesn’t feel the way she thought it would. It’s not like shedding scales or unfurling tentacles; it’s more like an anchor pulling her down.