Page 106 of Her Sloth

“She’s wonderful,” I say as I put the truck in reverse.

Addy tells me where to drive and turn; I just follow her lead. I have been to Los Angeles, but not that much to know my way around.

And then we stand in front of a closed gate with a trazillion warning signs on it, all telling the gate must not be opened and any trespassing will be punished.

She gets out without hesitation and breaks the chain closing the gate, opening it so I can drive through.

I shake my head and grin, because I love everything about it.

“You are a little lawbreaker, aren't you?” I ask when she’s back in the truck after closing the gate.

“Mhhhhhhm, maybe,” she says. “Maybe I love the thrill.”

We drive through serpentines, turning up a trail with a view onto L.A., a fence in front of us.

“Stop there,” she says, pointing at a stone to the right.

I do as told, and she gets out. She walks to a waste bin and climbs onto it, hopping over the fence way too graciously for being just six weeks post nearly dying.

“Are you coming?” she asks me.

“Yeah,” I say and follow her over the fence.

“Follow me, otherwise the camera will catch you,” she says as she slides down a hill, some dry soil loosening under her feet.

“The fucking Hollywood sign,” I say as I stand next to the massive, white sign, overlooking the lights of illuminated L.A.

“Yeah,” she says as she stands next to the H.

She leans against one line of the H, and I lean on the other.

Her eyes are fixed into the distance, and I follow her gaze onto L.A.

“When I came here first, I met someone,” she says. “Hailey. We auditioned for a movie together. We got high here that night,” she begins, and a strange sensation rushes through me. “She became my best friend, my first love, the person I call the one,” she continues, and I swallow hard. Because of all the things I expected this to go, this wasn’t it.

“Hailey was one of the most beautiful souls I ever met. She loved life even though she came from nothing and went through crap. She had this radiant laughter⁠—”

A weak smile appears on Addy’s face.

“You know, that laughter that just affects you?” she asks me without really asking. “We did four films together. We raced. We laughed. Cried. Went through everything together. I asked her to marry me, right here.”

My stomach sinks.

She brought me where she proposed to another woman?

“She said yes. Happiest moment of my life. I was building a life here. After all I escaped with my father, I had this glimpse of freedom. We swore to each other we’d go, leave everything behind. Run away to where no one would find us, start a new life.”

Whatever happiness it was, it doesn’t show on her face. On her face is only a single thing. Pain. Even a cold numbness.

“And then we started filming Princess Anna,” she says, audibly swallowing hard. “One of the producers, he⁠—“

She stops.

Swallows.

Starts again.

“He found a liking in her. She didn’t want him, of course not. So he took what he wanted.”