Page 6 of Love with a Notorious Rake

“A pretty speech. And condescending. I know you’re from a wealthy family, though that is all I know about you. A daughter of a poor country doctor would not be suitable. We are not suitable.” She pushed his hand away. “Shall we continue on our walk?”

He was genuinely surprised at her response. Class difference never entered his mind, but perhaps it was better that she believed such, for it would be easier for her to forget him. All that remained was the difficult task of forgetting her.

They strolled along the lane, and the awkwardness between them crackled with life. He had acted a haughty fool. But then, hadn’t he always? For Cristyn spoke the truth: there was…something. Beyond lust or desire. At this stage of his turbulent life, he had no right to enter into a relationship with a kind, honorable woman who was no doubt a virgin.

Aidan had always avoided virgins in the past. There was too much drama, tears, recriminations—or so he had witnessed with other men of his acquaintance. Also, there was the chance of being trapped into marriage. At a young age, he’d sworn a vow to keep his assignations to widows and other women of experience. Pleasure with no emotional attachments. Already there were too many complicated emotions swirling between him and Cristyn.

Glancing at her, he grudgingly admired how candid she was regarding her feelings. No tears at all. “Your father invited me for dinner tonight. I can send my regrets, if you prefer.”

“There is no need.” she huffed. “It will be a farewell dinner.” She gave him a brief, brittle smile, then marched ahead of him.

Well. Goodbye it is. As he’d said, it was for the best. Crisis barely averted. He was proud of the restraint he’d showed, but why did he feel dejected about it all? It was complete torture not taking her in his arms and kissing her soundly. Is this what the rest of his life would be like, denying his pleasures until the end of days? God, what a horrible prospect. Aidan was frustrated beyond words, but also gratified that he’d ended this before it even started.

Chapter 2

Cristyn hurried toward the sanatorium, not daring to turn around, for she could feel Aidan’s stare boring through her. He often spoke in that conceited, who-cares tone of his, but there were occasions she’d caught him gazing at her with heated interest. Then he would quickly show his apathetic mask. But in her heart, she knew Aidan was attracted to her as much as she was to him. What had just happened between them more than proved it.

Granted, his devilishly handsome looks were a factor in her interest. Who wouldn’t be drawn in by his wavy black hair and sky-blue eyes? His tall, lean form? His near-perfect face, which held a masculine beauty that took her breath away? But it was more than the outer shell. Perhaps it was the loneliness radiating in those cerulean eyes, or the etched lines of weariness bracketing his sensual mouth. The fact that he’d been brought low, but found the inner strength to accept his flaws and embrace his recuperation. Cristyn had witnessed his vulnerability, had seen him at his worst. He felt things deeply, though he was adept at hiding it. Aidan had touched her.

Oh, she’d betrayed her own rules about staying professional in her dealings with patients. Cristyn had crossed a line, and it troubled her. What an utter and complete fool she’d made of herself. She had done well up until now, keeping her feelings for Aidan under wraps.

Heavens, when he had stood close to her, leaning her against the tree, her entire body came alive, her insides thrumming with anticipation. She wanted his hands to roam and explore, for feeling his warm breath against her cheek and him briefly nuzzling her neck was not near enough. And the almost-kiss. For all her talk of being bold, why hadn’t she moved a fraction of an inch and met his perfectly shaped lips?

Thanks to her nursing and study of anatomy, she was well aware what the hardness pressed against her thigh portended. It had thrilled her, and because of it she had not suppressed her moans of desire. The passion between them had sparked and flamed, there was no doubt of it.

Yet he’d stepped away. “I am not a man to pin any hopes or dreams on.” How those words had broken her heart. “I would use you and toss you aside, as I have with many other women.” Despite their many conversations, Aidan had never spoken to her of his past. Considering the condition in which he’d arrived, she could only make assumptions. To hear he was a heartless seducer should have given her further pause—yet Cristyn remained firm in her belief that underneath was a man worthy of her compassion. Yes, he had touched her heart.

As she headed for the entrance, she glanced up and saw her father standing at the window, with arms crossed and his mouth pulled into a straight line of annoyance. Oh, no. What had he witnessed? Hadn’t they been hidden well enough behind the tree?

Crossing the threshold, she pulled her shawl from her shoulders. “Hello, Dad. I will look in on Mr. Holmes.”

“Cris, could I speak to you in my office?” he asked, his voice grave.

Blast it! “Yes, of course.”

Her father motioned for her to take a seat. “Your mother, rest her soul, wanted you to take a different path. Attend a finishing school, perhaps find a suitable match with a young man of solid middle class standing and adequate wealth. She made me promise to steer you toward that exact course. Alas, when you showed interest in medical studies, I abandoned my pledge.” He frowned. “I allowed my ego and my desire to have you follow in my footsteps to cloud my judgment. You are bold, fearless, intelligent, and confident. If you were a man, you would be a prime candidate to attend Oxford or Cambridge and study medicine.” He exhaled, shaking his head.

“But you’re not a man, and you’re not allowed to enter medicine. I should have remembered that salient fact. I should have protected you. What opportunity have you had to meet young men except here at the clinic?”

Cristyn did not like the direction of this conversation. Her father’s tone was a combination of apprehension and annoyance. She remained quiet.

“I watched you and Aidan Black. The discussion appeared emotional, at least on your end. I lost sight of you behind the huge oak, but I can well surmise what happened.” Her father rested his hands on the desk and frowned once again. “There have been more than a few handsome young men here the past five years. Why him?”

Why him, indeed. Flushing with mortification, Cristyn was not sure how to proceed. She and her father were close, as it had only been the two of them since her mother passed seven years ago. But speaking of her inappropriate infatuation for Aidan Black caused the flush to spread right to the tips of her toes. “I’m not certain I am able to explain why,” she offered in a hushed voice.

“Try.”

“He touches my heart,” she replied quietly.

“He’s not for you.”

Cristyn frowned at her father’s stern tone. Two men had told her this today, and it rankled. As if she did not know her own mind. Or heart. When told in the past she could not do or have something, it had made her all the more determined to achieve her objective. “You believe I’m not good enough for him—”

“On the contrary, my dear. He is not good enough for you.”

She cocked an eyebrow. “In what way? The fact that he’s recovering from an addiction? I thought you did not hold with such prejudices.”

“I don’t, but without breaking doctor-patient confidentiality, I can state his desolate past would give you pause. I do not wish to see you hurt.”