Page 79 of Resisting the Fall

My cheeks warmed slightly. It was true. I had asked… no, I’d begged Carson to stick around until Ben left. My mom had been struggling to keep her eyes open on the couch next to me, so when she’d offered to take Penny to bed, I knew she meant to go to sleep herself. Something Ben must have also realized since he’d slipped into her vacant seat a few minutes later. At that point, I’d had no choice but to send Carson a text of desperation. With Ben’s bombardment of little touches, lingering glances, and well-aimed smiles all evening, I was near my breaking point. Carson’s presence was the only thing preventing my reckless desires from getting the better of me, because it was temptingly clear Ben wouldn’t put up a struggle. “I did,” I said, keeping my gaze ahead. “I think it’s important we take precautions.”

“That makes sense considering how badly you wanted to kiss me last night.”

I scoffed. “You’d like to think that.”

“I don’t think it.” He leaned toward me, his voice dropping to a husky whisper that sent a wave of pleasure coursing through me. “I know it.”

My gaze flicked toward the sky, though I didn’t deny it.

“Over here,” Penny said, waving us toward them. Dozens of people were scattered around the empty lot. Some sat in chairs or on blankets, and others were perusing tables with refreshments, but most of the men and some women were gathered around the large cement pad left behind from the old community barn. Four massive lumber frames—two squares and two long rectangles of equal height—were lying on the ground, almost entirely assembled.

“Just a heads up,” Ben said, gesturing with his chin toward the large birch tree near the edge of the property, “the Ednas already set up their viewing area for today. They wanted me to let you know you’re welcome to go sit with them anytime.”

“Me? In the VIP section? How’d I get so lucky?”

Ben walked a few backward steps, sending a smile my way. “Some people are just blessed.”

“They only want me for my gossip.”

“Then you’d better make it good.” With one last heart-fluttering smile, he turned and walked toward the waiting group.

I let my gaze linger on Ben a little too long—his thick shoulders, the dark hair peeking out from under his baseball cap, and the fit of his pants. That man knew how to pick a pair of jeans. When I finally pulled my eyes from him, Mom and Penny were at my side, watching me with knowing smiles.

“What?” I asked, booping Penny on her nose.

Penny’s gaze shifted back to Ben. “Do you still love him?”

My heart squeezed at her question. The truth was, I had never stopped loving Ben. I’d been angry at him and hurt by him leaving, but no matter what I did or tried to tell myself, he’d always held the piece of my heart I’d given him all those years ago. First loves did something deep and irreversible to a person. But I was no longer naïve enough to believe love was the only thing that mattered. Or even the thing that mattered most. “Ben will always be special to me.”

“But you don’t want to be married to him anymore?”

I ran my hand through her blond hair. “We have very different lives.”

She looked at my mom like she wasn’t sure if that was a confirmation or not.

“How about the three of us figure out where to put this salad”—Mom took the bowl from me, offering a much-needed distraction—“then we go find somewhere to sit to watch the walls go up.”

“That sounds like a great idea.” I sent Mom a grateful smile. “Maybe we can hunt down some hot chocolate too.”

The barn was taking shape. All four walls were up—a feat accomplished through pure man-strength and determination—and now Ben, with a handful of other guys, worked on the roof while the rest of the crew of volunteers concentrated on siding the barn with wooden planks. It was crazy that only a few hours ago, the only thing on that spot had been a cement pad.

It had been fun catching up with several of the gals from Autumn Ridge, all of us appreciating the yummy treats people had brought to share, though not as much as we appreciated the view of the men hard at work. My gaze caught on Ben, instructing a group of men on the ground below. He’d always been a hard worker and extremely capable, but I’d never seen him lead out on something like this. The ease with which he accomplished it was impressive, not to mention the skills he must have developed to become the point guy on something of this caliber. An odd sense of pride settled in my chest.

“How’s the reconciliation effort going?” Edna B asked, the two of them finally cornering me at the water table. Clearly, there was no time for niceties and small talk. They just jumped straight to the point.

“Good.” I took a sip from my cup. “We’re almost a third of the way through it.”

“And…?” Edna G asked, refilling her own water cup.

I blinked a few times, like I wasn’t sure what she was talking about.

She blew out an exasperated breath. “Are the two of you still planning to have the divorce finalized?”

“Absolutely.”

Edna B gave an overdone pout. “But we saw the two of you at the game. And the way he keeps looking at you—” She glanced toward the barn, and Ben was climbing down the ladder. We all stared, them to prove a point, and me because I couldn’t help myself. As luck would have it, the moment his feet touched the ground, he glanced in our direction. “See?”

I shifted to block Ben from my view. My frequent return glances wouldn’t help my cause. “He’s probably just nervous I’ll share something he’d prefer I didn’t.”